"If these young, hot little girls on campus—"

Maybe she counted it as her "something blue."

A guy friend once asked me out & I rejected him. We later went out to eat - as friends! - and he started talking about his parents...and how his dad had pursued his mother, with her saying no something like half a dozen times before she finally caved in. All this with a knowing look on his face; it was pretty clear…

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Oh my god that's awful. Glad you made it home.

My friends and I went to a super-duper-orthodox Christian wedding once. We were all high school friends of the bride and very much heathens, single, and not giving a fuck about it; ALL of her other guests were people from her church and therefore married. She wouldn't let us sit it out because there wouldn't have been…

No, because I like to swim, play sports, and generally be able to walk on the beach in a swimsuit, and anything worn by a SI swimsuit model is going to expose me to the world.

Samesies, except mine was flute, and somehow I ended up being first chair.

To tune out all the way-less-sexy noises in the background, e.g. neighbors, garbage trucks, lawnmowers. TBH I usually just turn on my bathroom fan.

Then this guy probably isn't attracted to you and doesn't care about legislating your appearance. This is just about him being able to get into heaven without having to endure any actual tests of his faith; why moderate his own actions when he can moderate the actions of women who might tempt him to sin?

I read "polite society" as "police society" and barely batted an eye. Republic of Gilead gets closer every day.

This. Slaves may have been bought & sold by wealthy white landowners, but the virulent hatred of POC in this country most often seems to reside in the hearts of poor and working class whites. It wasn't rich people marching up 5th Ave. in NYC during the race riots of the Civil War, it was working-class whites who…

Loved this essay and love your tiny feminist act at the end. I agree - it has a feeling of being slightly whimsical or tongue-in-cheek, but also powerful.

when it turned out he didn't even actually have grades in his gradebook and had made them up based on how he felt we did.

Jumping on the bandwagon to say I worked with a couple of female computer science engineers, one of whom was a former cheerleader and another of whom was a salsa dancer. They were both regarded as among the smartest people in our company and everyone thought it was awesome that they had these extracurricular interests…

This. And it's not even patients needing expensive treatments. It's patients needing treatments that are far, far cheaper for the exact same item/service in other countries, because those governments watch the check and put a big OH HELL NO stamp on overpriced healthcare. Here, the "free market" says the hospital can…

I'd just repeatedly pretend that they were asking serious questions.

Why do these not have 5,000 more stars? I looooooooooove them.

Scrolled endlessly through the comments looking for other people who thought that paragraph was fucked up. Thank you.

Amen. "Sarcastic sense of humor" and "somewhat cynical world view" can both fuck right the fuck off. I'd rather date an actual golden retriever than listen to you explain how you're too honest to be kind and too smart to be happy.