And sometimes we come online to vent our feelings, rather than squelching them, so that when it comes time to go out into the real world, we're better able to deal. I could have done without the final snarky tone of "being a grown up," but I do get where you're coming from. Just remember that some of us stuff it deep…

Thanks for the advice. I think in this group, sending an email like that would read as slightly passive-aggressive, no matter how gently I phrased it. They already know that I ended up alone, you know? Luckily one of them has already offered to make it up to me by scheduling a do-over. I don't want them to feel…

Sorry you had a shitty 30th too. Thanks for being so respectful in how you phrased your response (NOT sarcasm, honestly, thank you. Some people were real dicks). I think I came online mostly to vent, not to get permission to be selfish. I don't really have an outlet for my feelings in real life right now because…

Ha! I'm not that passive-aggressive, thank the heavens. A ton of people did the standard, "Happy birthday! Hope you had a great day!" post, and it took a lot of willpower to resist the urge to write back, "Actually it was awful!" Just not worth it.

I genuinely LOLed at the thought of brooding and stroking a fluffy white cat. That's going to be my go-to mental image for the rest of this debacle.

How awful! That would devastate anyone. I'm glad he figured out who was worth his time.

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel. I'm working it out with them now and trying to be the better person, but it's nice to hear from outsiders that I'm entitled to feel my feelings, since I'm not really getting that permission from within the circle. Thanks for the validation!

My sympathy. That's a miserable feeling, and two in a row is worse. :(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Oh yeah, there's no question of me ever saying the latter. The sour selfish part of me feels that way, but that's not a feeling that gets voiced, period. It's just that in girl-speak, "I was kind of disappointed," tends to unleash round after round of, "Again, I'm so sorry," which forces me to say, "It's okay, it's…

I'm deadly serious about that being a stellar offer, and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Baltimore's a stretch for me, since I'm a public transportation-taking gal at the moment, but I raise my cup high to you from afar, Internet friend! Thank you for the sage words of advice, as well. The logical part of me…

Thank you! I went shopping today and bought myself a trashy book, which I was planning to read tonight before I decided that venting my frustrations via Kinja would be more cathartic. Tomorrow I'm going to sleep in, then spend the day indoors and ignoring the incoming Snow Doom with book and tea. Thanks for the sweet…

The bunny. THE BUNNY! Bless you, Internet stranger. Bless your GIF-supplying heart.

OMG, you win/lose. I hatehatehatehate being the center of a weird performance tribute like that. You just know the person in the clown costume is hating every minute of it (and if an adult in a clown costume likes singing happy birthday to a horrified 21-year-old, well, that's not better). And the boyfriend is a…

You are so sweet! Thanks! Scootches chair closer to new friend, immediately wonders how to spell "scootch."

Thanks. :) I think more than anything I was incensed by the implication that I would celebrate my 30th at Outback.

Thanks, I really appreciate the sympathy. A lot of people have responded with stories of missed or disappointing 30ths. I guess we all pick up and go on. When I was miserable last night, I made calls to a few out-of-town friends to complain, and they were terrific. It's helpful to be reminded to focus on the good ones…

I didn't want to write an opus in my opening post, so I left out a lot for the sake of economizing. Let's put it this way: one of the "crippling" diseases was a cold.

That's very sensible. I've been texting back and forth with one friend and more or less going in this direction, so I will continue to carry on. The benefit of texting is that I can fume while still writing something lighthearted that doesn't stress anyone else out.

I love this thread. Way to step up and take responsibility! Brain dump in 3, 2, 1: