I went to a state school.

I took linear algebra at Arizona State.

The first one sounds exactly like the Top-40 version you can hear on your local Jammin'Z98 FM.

This is why I'm putting all my money on Wrestlemania this year.

You're saying its the "bravest" and "manliest" and "stupidest" of beverages.

So here's my Summer jam:

The two of the 11 seeds play in? That's fucking stupid!

These things sound bad, and outside of Silicon Valley, no one will buy them.

Riley Cooper's contract makes a lot more sense when you remember that it's salary cap hit in 2015 is just a case of Copenhagen.

55 is pretty cold

MD-80, piece of shit

False

1. Drugs are awesome,

Actually...

Bill O'reilly claims he did the same to Hulk Hogan in '84.

This will bounce around Tumblr until they turn off the internet.

He looks like he has a Google Alert set for "casting Tombstone sequel"

If EMP isn't mentioned I'd call this pretty restrained actually. For private sector NatSec writing.

ABSOLUTELY MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!

Casablanca motherfucker.