"Geez, act like you've been there before."

1. Phillip Rivers

Yeah, but those are only the written rules.

"Stool" can also refer to poop.

It's funny because "Shocker" can also refer to a sexual act.

"Sure it is."

/looks at fingers
/furrows brow
/takes off shoes, socks
/scratches head
/drops pants, briefs

Slow day at the Footlocker; we just stole Jordan's.

...member of the Utah Jazz? Yes!

+1 line

Yeah that was fucking stupid.

Can't be a Funky, no mention of getting cancer.

Danny fuckin' Woodhead, man.

1. Chick Tracts!

Oops, I thought Albert wrote this.

I'd rather vomit into a hot oven.

I thought Uconn was up in northern Canada until two years ago.

If I'm 19 years old with a porny pic, can I ask for a follow?