We are opposites! I'm a bundle of whimsy who is regularly reduced to tears by rainbows, butterflies, and Pixar movies, but her love isn't worthy of anything bigger than a 22 Jump Street proposal? Poor Amanda! Scrawling her a note on a napkin at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru that says "were not gettin any younger. marry me?…

So we can't text during movies but THIS is okay?

His T-Shirt appears to say "Expand."

I wasn't accusing you of doing this, i was just sarcastically poking fun at your attitude.

And to anybody needing to get anywhere in the city! Fuck those people! I hope they missed their flights, or they got fired for being late to work, or their dates went horribly, or their kids where scared when nobody picked them up from school! I mean, why shouldn't thousands of people be severely inconvenienced so we…

Not that the other sports all-star games are any good either, but there's also ZERO competition for the MLB game. There's at least something going up against all the others like the other leagues, NASCAR, collegiate sports, etc.

When a group of analysts are covering a broadcast of men's sporting event, it is understood that any records or stats they mention refer only to the men's game. When they do the broadcasts for the WWC next year, the analysts are free to refer to Wambach's goal record without qualifiers too.

I think she was hoping a bunch of humorless Jezebel commenters would over-analyze the living fuck out of that line.

I can't understand why nobody is laying any blame at Klinsmann's feet. You would think after watching 3.75 games with both Michael Bradley and Clint Dempsey completely out of position and their comfort zones that he would have made a tactical decision to bring on a pure striker a lot sooner. Michael Bradley is not…

Now, I'm in no way a LeBron supporter (can't stand the guy), but you have the chance to compare a news anchor [accused of rape] to a great basketball player [accused of rape] and you don't pick Kobe??

"It also presented a good opportunity for Greg Kelly to do some heavy-breathed creepin' on his colleague."

it's almost as if it's a joke and not actually a real term

So, I've found my favorite kind of review, and they're not on Yelp. I really enjoy reviews of grocery stores posted on off-brand websites. The following example gets bonus crazy points for being posted on a Fry's Electronics reviews page when it's a review of Fry's Food.

"Fry's Markets seems to be going constantly…

very much needed to share that she bedded a young hott guy before her sweet fiancé came along

HOT TAKE: We are by far the best team in the tournament, only Klinsmann doesn't want anyone to know it yet. The game plan was to score at will 30 seconds into the game, then play rope-a-dope for 80 minutes, even letting Ghana score late, just so that we can go ahead four minutes later for another thrilling American…

All I heard from the so called soccer 'experts' before the game, was that if USA tried to get overly offensive, Ghana's fast striking offense would score 5 on them. They said we needed to play defensive to win. Then we score 30 seconds in, and did just that, played defensive the whole game. The resulting stats all…

Altidores Mom had snack duty for the Portugal game, does she still bring juice boxes and goldfish or does the players mom that replaces him setup?

I absolutely LOVE this movie.

Upon exhaustive review, I have determined that Fabrizio never once during the entire running time of the film actually utters the lines "I've-a got this-a beeg ravioli! Abbondanza!"