“Also, his girlfriend looks like what I imagine Scheana Marie looked like six years ago.”

“Jon Hamm’s penis is about the size of an obese hamster.”

To Selena Gomez: “Is this your first Met Ball?” Selena: “This is my fourth.”

Can this be the judge???

Abby Normal

I did a dramatic reading of this at work for my co-workers and got on the floor and did this:

For one of my friends I was hella broke and only working part-time so I spent most of my $$$ flying out to CA for their wedding. So I threw the baby shower the next year as a belated wedding gift.

One of your internet boyfriends Oscar Isaac is expecting his first child with girlfriend Elvira Lind.

That is on my list one of the touristy things I would do on vacation

Yes

I need a tour Lana!!!!!

Yessssss

My roommate is a server there!

ooooooooo girl

“Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt Are Texting Again, But I’m Sure It’s Nothing”

Hmmmmmmmm

“The air mattress couldn’t withstand that sort of strain.”

25?