“Jon Hamm’s penis is about the size of an obese hamster.”

To Selena Gomez: “Is this your first Met Ball?” Selena: “This is my fourth.”

Can this be the judge???

Abby Normal

I did a dramatic reading of this at work for my co-workers and got on the floor and did this:

For one of my friends I was hella broke and only working part-time so I spent most of my $$$ flying out to CA for their wedding. So I threw the baby shower the next year as a belated wedding gift.

One of your internet boyfriends Oscar Isaac is expecting his first child with girlfriend Elvira Lind.

That is on my list one of the touristy things I would do on vacation

Yes

I need a tour Lana!!!!!

Yessssss

My roommate is a server there!

ooooooooo girl

“Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt Are Texting Again, But I’m Sure It’s Nothing”

Hmmmmmmmm

“The air mattress couldn’t withstand that sort of strain.”

25?

Good luck my friend.