We can joke (and will), but one day one or more of us will run into some person who is somehow actually allergic to crunchy and we will never be able to trust in our perception of reality again.

I didn’t know bees were spicy... Are bees spicy?

Okay I had to stop reading after the no-foam latte/cappuccino lady to seriously ask... Why do so many of you humor these people? I mean, yeah, I know, you don’t want to lose your job over one doofus, but still. Homelessness would be worth it to throw that plate of latte back in that woman’s face while saying “This is…

#iamlungcancerinhumanform is the best hashtag

It’s so cute what people consider realistic possibilities early in election season. At this point in the process there have often been comical candidates near the lead for one party or the other. But it only takes like 12-25% support to lead. Then the field narrows, support consolidates over a few candidates and the…

The nomination? God I hope so. There is no way he wins the presidency. I mean, at that point I think the Democrats could run an actual Muslim from Kenya and still win.

I still wouldn’t vote for Hillary if it was Clinton vs. Trump. If Sanders wouldn’t do a 3rd party candidate I’d just write-in Elizabeth Warren’s name in the general. Still don’t believe Trump would win against Hillary even if every single non-Democrat liberal like me did the same. I mean, if Palin as VP was too much…

Please have only the necessary amount of snark going forward.

You should definitely still punch him, tho

Wow that is some awful. Two people who are afraid of flying should never be seated next to one another, there should be a box you can check when buying your ticket. At least the first guy’s crazy distracted you from getting too panicked.

I actually like being seated next to someone who gets scared (but, let’s get real,…

The obvious attempt to piss off Colin with the half-assed rewording of Dairy Queen is my absolute favorite.

Seriously, and now that the season is over I can’t even downgrade my cable & internet package because of these shit oligopolies we have as service providers. I only got the damn cable tv for basketball and dropping it to go with internet-only will do nothing for my monthly bill. It makes no fucking sense for League…

A pox on you!!

WHATTHEFUCK

This team had both Tupac AND Biggie on it??!? How could they not know they were bound for disaster?

Fuck you.

The last time she ran Hillary lost to Obama for a reason (okay, maybe a few reasons). And while the president didn't quite live up to his promises, it doesn't seem to me like enthusiasm for her candidacy has gone up significantly since then. I didn't vote for her in those primaries and won't vote for her in 2016.…

Fantastic article Madeleine! I didn't think this would be something I would give a crap about reading but I love the way you took us through the con with you and I came away with a better appreciation for these people.

The shawarma scene was added only for the American release, like a day before. Remember that the film opened internationally (at least in Europe, don't know about China or the rest of Asia) well before it did here in the U.S. And to my knowledge it therefore never actually ran at the end of the movie in any theaters…

I would assume fouling someone in the last three seconds to send them to the line would give them eight free throws so that would still enable the miracle eight-pointer "The Shot" for MJ. Obviously.