i work at a six flags, and, knowing security, the majority are absolutely not equipped for anything other than a minor guest dispute, so the idea of people getting mad at them for being out of their depth is super ridiculous

It’s also possible the sixteen year-old running the ride wasn’t in sight of the girl, and another sixteen year-old employee just ran up to her/him, and screamed, “STOP THE RIDE!”

You mean the good (green) hulk and not the bad (orange/yellow) hulk, right?

I am straight-up never going to tire of the “getting hit by” runner. I hope on my deathbed, my demented, Alzheimer’sy self reads an article about “Early 21st century presidents, ranked” that ends “6. Getting hit by a Glorbulon Freighter.

“This Meyers Leonard is busted. Get me a new one.”

Did they ever address the bug where sometimes Gym would turn yellow?

You know that fucker was making them buy name brand.

Millions of people play it!

Reportedly management called him up and said “It’s a Shane but we’re Doan with you.”

To the dude eyebanging the uneaten eggroll, how fucking bankrupt is the communication between you and your fiance that you can’t even ask about eating one of her appetizers? If you can’t communicate over food your marriage is fucking doomed.

Day drinking is fine if you build in a nap. Day drinking straight into night drinking means at some point your brain DVR will stop recording.

I was thinking maybe they suffocated him or something - to cause the entire brain to sort of shut down without physical damage is so weird.

I can’t imagine the torture this kid went through - its horrible and the lowest form of sadness I can comprehend.

The beating this kid must have taken to be this badly damaged on the other side must have been merciless. Merciless.

Someone print this post out and show it to the cousins in Conklin so they know it’s on.

Ha! Well if any residents of Kirkwood want to fight about it, I’m right here!

Ivanka’s “job”: Show up somewhere dressed expensively, look concerned/understanding, nod, mention the word “women”, and the day’s work is done!

Is it just me, or is Jeff Samrdzija high on everyone’s list of Baseball People it Would Probably Feel Good to Punch in the Face?

Cats were getting ALOT of favorable calls in the first quarter. Not that crazy given that the Cavs were at home and playing aggressively. The Warriors were, however, visibly frustrated/annoyed with it and surely spent the rest of the half letting the refs hear it.

So, um, I don’t think that permanent brain damage should be the price for playing a sport? Even if it traditionally has been? But that’s apparently a hot take still.

Your name made you seem a lot more fun than your comment :(