Eventually all things merge into one and an oil/gas developing company runs through it. I am haunted by this administration.

If that’s the impression you got, then I told the story poorly. So, more context.

Your Father sounds like a kind man and your Wife has the patience of a saint.

The hat Olympics will be glorious. British hats are fun, but Black church lady hats are Next Level! And the coordinated suits! The bags! The heels! The sheer sense of SPECTACLE! No duchess can really beat a Baptist First Lady on the final night of the church revival.

In that last photo, Ginger Prince looks so stupid in love that my bitter, shriveled heart grew two sizes. Sigh, I love a royal wedding!

I don’t have any leftovers. I had gone over to a relatives and managed to get tipsy and ended up in the “IDGAF, I just want to sleep” phase. So I left her house without anything. However... My co-worker brought me a plate of bomb-ass lasagna. I’m not going to eat tonight. I am going to the movies tomorrow, during the…

Given that I’ve seen “baby bump!” rumors start over photos where it looked like the woman had merely exhaled. . .

Same for me with spaghetti. Mom would keep adding water to the sauce til the next paycheck. I couldn’t eat spaghetti for years.

I’m having lamb tomorrow... because fuck turkey AND ham. One of the best things about being an adult is having the power to decide you don’t want any of that nonsense. It almost makes all the bills, anxiety, and early onset forehead wrinkles worth it.

She told us that she hasn’t enjoyed going over there for years because of Fox News and all the shit they say. Now, they’re freaking the fuck out because it’s about to be Christmas # 2 with no contact. We told them we’d re-visit the ban after 6 months but the dumbasses keep posting shit on Facebook. Whenever they reach…

We’re a baked family. Cook the macaroni, drain it, toss it with a little butter and LET IT COMPLETELY COOL. Make a basic Béchamel, add your cheeses (I use smoked gruyere, aged gouda and white cheddar,) a tablespoon of really good mustard, salt (if necessary,) white pepper or quatre epices, fresh Italian parsley and…

White person here, and I assure you that we did not sign off on pineapple in Mac and Cheese. We don’t want that guy either. Everyone knows that you can put meat in Mac and Cheese, but any sort of fruit needs to stay the hell away.

This is awesome.

Your grandmother sounds rad.

Every day I wake up the luckiest man in the world, and she wakes up somehow ignoring the fact that she can do so much better. ;)

I love Joe Biden as much as the next person, but I will always hold the Anita Hill proceedings against him. He wasn’t the only person involved in the process, but as the person in charge he gets the most of the blame for what happened because it was in his power to fix it.

Oh hey, just like Salt Lake City.

Haka’d to death*

I actually worked with Paz on a film last year, she has clear substance abuse problems that interfer with work, but she is a talented performer. In the three weeks I worked with her, she was under the influence at all times. She is not a difficult person just a very troubled person who needs help. Those troubles…

Damn, now I'm in the mood for herring on Triscuits.