I guess we can forget ever calling bowling a sport again. However, backwards bowling might be Olympics worthy.

My guess is

I think that's the Twitter where the words print in black. Either that, or it's a racist thing

Well, I was hoping Christian Bale would play Landon "Snake" Townsend, the fence for illegal toilet paper

Seriously upsetting. I've been working for years to convince women it's alright to talk to men first if they interest you and sure, you could even ask them out because it's the 21st fucking century, and then this douche reminds me why this will never happen. Because Bro Montana wants you to shut and look pretty.…

It could be worse. The original photo they were going to use was of Elmer Fudd.

If he gets Peter Jackson to do the movie, Martin will easily get the time needed to deal with all of his plotlines and characters. And they would be perfect for one another: both men have a terrible time finishing stories.

This article left out who bought the film rights and if Christian Bale is going to star in it. Boo.

And the daily tyranny against polacks, mics, and krauts continues.... Or is it okay because he's a white guy saying it? I get confused which rules we're playing by these days.

I have not and will not follow US politics until someone but an old white guy wins.

I think Roddy should be a mensch and get the guy season tickets, 50 yard line, front row in Cleveland. We all know they're available, and he never specified stadium or team.

Kelly, are you reading and commenting on every article on Jezebel today? Or just the ones I'm reading?

If you live near Austin, I am allowing people to wander my house and poke about in rooms for $5/person. I promise there are obscure notes and slightly confusing pictures located in some rooms, and I have left a note on the front door saying not to look for my dog, Milton. Adventure awaits! Reply to this post for…

All of us are aware Jobs made movies, right? Pixar, anyone?

I think it's obvious that any delay in HGH testing is because most NFL players do it. If players had to return to the non-juiced era, the drop off in excellence would be serious and NFL drop out due to pain would be much higher. Good job, both sides, for delaying legitimacy for as long as possible!

The only interesting part of your rant was watching you caress your genitals with pride and arrogance. And Kissinger's history is well known and recorded, so your behavior is completely uncalled for. The interesting thing is that you were probably alive for all the "war crimes" noted by us both, and you've done…

I believe it's been c0nfirmed that sprites are physical confirmation of angel deaths. The proximity to heaven and the speed God whisks them from Earth pretty much confirms it before the science. Cool.

Seriously? Considering our last president reinstituted torture as a common interrogation device after beginning the first war where a democratic republic invaded another nation without provocation, who cares about Kissinger? Hell, our current President won the Nobel Peace Prize, AND he has a kill list that he updates…

I heard it was being retitled, "Left 2 Die 4 Good 3"

Well written piece, but JEEEZUS! This is some serious Louis XVI garbage! I'm up for disconnecting LA tonight. I've got saws and razor blades. Anyone else? Buehler? Anyone?