Sounds like the first kid to get 10 friends together gets to rule XBOne! And god forbid somebody gets muted because they're having a conversation/life where they are sitting; I'm afraid that's going to lower your reputation inadvertently. In fact, this is one of those systems where you're going to have to WORK to be…

Thinking the Microsoft PR machine has any idea how the military works is ridiculous. The boys at Microsoft still aren't aware that internet support is not feasible for many of their customers nationally and especially internationally. Only sheltered, misguided First Worlders would have birthed this excuse for a…

Throwing the pig out with the bathwater?!?! Eh, eh?

If there is one team that can make the boy be the tight end he naturally is, the Pats are probably it. And with Gronk being such an arm-breaky, surgery-ridden lay-about, Tim might even be useful.

I'm waiting for the $500 Deluxe VIP ticket that includes full body rub down and Elizabeth Shue as my girlfriend for the day.

" you can use nearly anything as a weapon against zombies—and these weapons have some degree of customization." The old versions were all about weapon customization, and now we have "some degree of customization"? Either Patricia undervalued a major aspect of the game, or this version is going to be lame.

Why does this sport still exist?

How can a player ever think we'll back on his career with reverence when they flop? Lebron, may your name never be used in the same sentence as Michael Jordan ever again. You're not a king; you're a fool.

What about going to a job interview just days after everyone saw you get eviscerated? I have a feeling the question, "What have you done recently?" won't be asked.

+1

Cheerios suddenly notices we've entered the 21st century. Republican party can't be far behind?

Haha! Your name is Cameron.

I totally sympathize, dude. I have a female friend who was nailing this married guy, and he totally strung her along with "I love you" and "Someday it'll be us", but that special day never came. And then he dumped her for a prettier, lower-mileage version. And she was SOOO talented, too.

It's good to know that desperate harpies have a uniform color. Thanks, Jezebel!

Where are the fallopian tube bonus ramps?

Please attach the statement. I'd like to read that.

Thank you for getting it. Award please!!

Try not binging on Championship Manager. I dare you. It's impossible.

It's official: girls can't take criticism.

Intern, bow to your new slave masters. Love them with all of you, and they may keep you around for the rest of your life.