Most of those calls are coming from rural Virginia, where they've always preferred to wed themselves to Cousins.

That little guy had better be careful.

He should have known something was up when the guard handed him a TMZ legal pad .

"After all, we'll have to do something to make up for the F we'll get in Chemistry."

Awarding a Worst Moment On First Take would require us to watch First Take, and we all value our brain cells too much for that.

Best Book to Read at Baseball Game

If there's one thing Cutler can throw, it's a party.

Also, Nick Saban Is Like Hitler, Says Every Other SEC Fan Who Hates Nick Saban.

. . . played on opposite sides of the line . . .

So Don Dahler:

(a) Has no idea what position Gronkowski plays?

(b) Has no idea what position Hernandez played?

(c) Has no idea about anything?

Apparently he tested positive for dickweed.

Obstruction of Justice is the legal term the police state uses for "we got nothing else".

Wait, Shoney's has a bar? I haven't been in almost 20 years, but I always remembered it like Denny's, IHOP, Waffle House, etc.