So you guys weren’t going to write an article on how Tesla basically just outlined how they are going to destroy everyone in this segment?

A credit card! Just a fuckin’ ho-hum rewards card! The ghost of Steve Jobs would roll his eyes so hard at that. 

How many of the more recent fatalities were due to the plane being shot down by Donny’s best friend Vlad?

Whoa! whoa! whoa! Get those facts out of here! Our President got opinions!!!

“Remember the Hindenburg? Tremendous piece of technology.”

If the black box always survives the crash, then why don’t they just make the plane out of the black box? Duh!

Clearly aviation crashes and fatalities have increased as planes have gotten more and more advanced.........Oh, wait:

An old man who is afraid of change. Wow, never seen that before.

Always seeking to go one unnecessary step further, when often old and simpler is far better.

“The Democrats all Hate Jews”

The site is barely tolerable WITH AdBlocking. Without it? Un-viewable.

Bro. Adblocker. 

Tesla online sales are still direct from the manufacterer.
You aren’t routed to a local dealer to complete the transaction.

You configure and pay right on the website.

They actually need to do this and have order pickers with the only cars coming through being the delivery drivers for instacart.  This is way more efficient for delivery and pickup of pre-picked orders than shopping on the go.

Nope, they are completely irrelevant at this point and use stunts like this to try to get people to pay attention to them.

And then everyone clapped and carried you away on their shoulders .......

I’d have liked the story more if the guy’s pants fell down as he chased his car, and then he pooped all over himself. Honestly, I thought you were going there when the car started farting. Missed opportunity.

Is CR even a thing people use to make a decision on whether or not to buy a car? Other than that, I’m just waiting for the Tesla Fanboys “But everyone has reliability issues! This isn’t exclusive to Tesla!” comments. 

Make it a production car only available in flat black.....name it the Interceptor.......sell as many as you can make.

Take that back! The idea did not fail.