Too long. THREE MINUTES too long.

Sorry, I forgot about all those college baseball teams for girls.

You're trolling, right? There's no reason for a fan to touch an athlete during play, unless you know there's a sniper on the roof about to shoot him and you're the only one who can save him.

McCann 2:37 ("Thou shalt not show up a pitcher when down by more than three runs!")

it's nice that some of the Eagles know what ties are now.

I am old and out of touch, but it's hard for me to take "throws up gang signs in photos" as serious evidence when stuff like this exists.

Francona: Hey, Wood. You ever make a team while on the mound before?

With writing like that, I'm giving his middle school and high school teachers the finger too.

Unfortunately, we do not know why Francisco Garcia was walking around a cactus plant without any shoes on. That does not seem like a very wise thing to do.

I have a really important question: how is Jingometer pronounced?

"Lover..."

Just another couple of talking heads going on about a house burning down.

What a biting goal.

In a vacuum, Rodriguez is one of the most unsympathetic athletes ever.

so touchdown such bcs wow very cheer much maction

Bart Simpson has been in the 4th grade for 25 years and hasn't aged a bit. Who says there has to be a reason?

All the idiot needed to do was change one word:

Let me guess, Greg, you pronounce "Adidas," OTTI-das.

IT'S "THE MAIN EVENT", NOT "THE MAIN STEVENT"!!!

This isn't the level of conversation we are hoping to have here, winking gesture or not.