it sounds like you really weren't 100% committed to sparkle-motion.

I did the "Too Anxious to Eat" diet in college. Lost ten pounds, everyone praised me for how awesome they thought I looked, it was the worst most unhealthy thing. I just didn't eat more than a light meal a day for like...a month or two. I'm sure half of what I lost was muscle but, <sarcasm> at least it got me hipbones…

Oh, man, the high school swim practice diet. I'm pretty convinced swimming burns a trillion calories, based on the way I ate back then. I tried to keep eating that way after swim season was over and INSTANTLY gained a bunch of weight.

Does anyone else have that horrible Friends phenomenon of realizing that you're older than they are meant to be and freaking out? They seemed SO GROWN UP when I was a teenager.

OMG, Kate McKinnon. I can't really pin-point what it is about her that I just freakin' LOVE, but it's something. She reminds me just a little of Molly Shannon, with the physical humor, but that's not exactly it.

White Shoulders reminds me of watching my mm getting dressed up to go out. That scent always takes me right back to standing by her vanity applying a little dab behind each ear. So glam!

i am apple shaped so they are all flattering on me with the high waists and stuff.

I regularly don't receive texts from my boyfriend. I blame this on my stupid phone and the fact that we live in the mountains.

My cousin's stepsister's estranged father's mother in law's cat's original owner makes $937 an hour by dressing bananas in costumes and photographing them for novelty coffee table books.

So my cat scared the shit out of me tonight. He's only recently been showing interest in going outside, and will step out for two seconds then want back in. I was airing out the house and figured he stepped out. Earlier in the evening I tried going out and calling him, making noises, but there were just the old men…

That's totally up my alley so I'm definitely going for that one next! I'm so sad because my boyfriend just said he saw all three of her books together and was going to grab me that pack first, but just got me Gone Girl instead! hahaha, he HAS to get me the other two now!

ARGGGGGH! My mother chastised me today for liking pro women's health/pro choice or progressive posts on Facebook. She is "afraid everyone she knows will see them" because they pop up on her news feed. And then tonight, on my news feed on Facebook, a woman with whom I am quite friendly with at work, but also with…

After several days of being relatively good, polite and actually pleasant Miss Big Foot has decided to let the asshole flag fly again tonight. She finally came back down about an hour ago and said that if it was all the same to me she is NOT going to go to counseling because they are going to judge her and she does…

Dark Places is my favorite. It's so fascinatingly disturbing.

I went to the mall today. Such a big mistake... It was because I was bored and wanted to get out of the apartment. Then I walked into the damn Bath and Body Works semi-annual sale to stock up on their hand soaps. I had $20 in damn Groupon vouchers that expired, so I was only able to use what I paid for them in the…

SPOILERS






I had a mental bet going in the end that they would either end up together happily or she would trap him with a pregnancy. Obviously, I won. A bet. With myself.

Read her other two! They're really good too, and as a native Missourian, I am both amused and intrigued by her spot on portrayal of Missouri and her…

also i was on the floral skater dress trend. sorry i looked so good~

I just ordered these. (Yes, they're Jessica Simpson, I KNOW.) Am I too late to the party on these? They're only going to be okay for another week and a half, right? Signed, HighSchool Insecurities About My Choices Run Deep, I Am 33.

I love "hating" famous people bc it's so harmless and ultimately hilarious, but I think I actualfax want to be friends with J-Law. She legit seems pretty cool.

I am an incredibly orgasmic woman, and even more so once I hit mid-thirties—BOOM! Like a whole new woman lept out from between my legs!!!