If we're going just by the frequency and timing with which he uses it, I'm guessing that "Omaha" usually means, "Yes, in exchange for payment, I will endorse that."

"As a guy who moved from Ohio to D.C. to take a better job, I have but one piece of advice: the road trip to Buffalo is a killer."

It's Troy Aikman Face Roulette!

"Hide the Midget" is what my ex-wife used to call our semi-annual sexual encounters.

No. I was being completely serious. No man has ever gotten drunk and fought another man at a sporting event. You are delusional if you believe otherwise. You should consider psychiatric treatment, because you imagine things to be that aren't actually real.

Hey, dude had to learn sooner rather than later that ladies can be sensitive about the crimson tide.

Good. I wasn't the only one who noticed that.

Mom worked those metal handrails like she's had some prior experience with umm, cylindrical metal objects in front of a mostly male, drunk crowd.

That's the first good kick by Bama in a while

"I'm not a bigot! I'm not bi-anything! That's fucking disgusting!"

Your actions created an environment where guy-on-Guy love was acceptable. That's just not right in my book.

It's a good theory, but I don't think it makes complete sense. Priefer wouldn't cut you because he'd be afraid that he'd catch AIDS.

"My son, my precious child, when you still see two sets of footprints in the Wisconsin snow, that's because you're so fat I couldn't carry you."

The Packers—the Packers!—still have 7,500 seats remaining

Once or twice

Even though Philly sold all their tickets, three of four Eagles fans will definitely be blacked out.

Are you Gregg Easterbrook?

"I'm a news guy but here is a small sampling from our facebook page. Their words, not mine."

Once again, Deadspin uses a grossly misleading headline. The game is still in the 1st quarter; it is irresponsible journalism to make it sound like this play will be the summary of awful Jets plays today.

I'm going to crack open one of these, and ponder what's missing from this list.