He tested positive for the blood booster ALPO but says his sample was mishandled by the Lab.

Eli, sadly, was not invited

This... this is you.

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

Is it even a hot take anymore to say that Gregg Popovich would make an infinitely better president than Donald Trump? Shit’s insane. I love this man. I say this as someone who rooted against the Spurs and their boring cold grip on championships for many years. The man just always Gets It.

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

The Life and Times of the Yale Man

2016: Public Indecency (Probation)
2020: Cocaine Possession (Probation)
2022: Cocaine Possession (Rehab and time serve)
2030: Assault (Stripper drops charges)
2040: Securities Fraud (Civil Settlement)
2048: Money Laundering (Civill Settlement)
2052: Secretary of Treasury

Hey bud, from all of us here at the Deadspin comment section, go fuck yourself.

NFL PEE-ON: Uh Mr. Goodell, sir, your investigators are all on Molly.

Such a goddamn clusterfuck.

Lineman-American, please.

“Tim Tebow Saves First Base For Marriage”

Hell of a game for the North Side.

As a Cubs fan, thank you Dodgers. Thank you with all my heart. I don’t know if the Cubs will win the NLCS but now I know they will not lose it to Dusty fucking Baker. Praise jesus. I would have given up on baseball completely.

Thanks Ashley, now whenever we talk about Trump in politics I will just think about how we were this close to Mike Tyson solving this problem for us in the 80s.

also, where are you going with that gun in your hand?