Beef Fans Have Done Kobe Ranking Well

The credit for his persona should really go to the guy who invented it:

Dumb rule. And really only applies to Grand Slams ...

I think that’s what the plaque says on the Elway monument at the Denver airport.

Welcome, Cardinals Nation! Small talk never was your strong suit. Outlining the rules over and over — that’s where you guys are vikings!

CALL HIM ISHMAEL.

Scientifically speaking, when a goat farts in India, a warm breeze sweeps through the Midwest an hour later.

Rally ‘Round the Family!

I haven’t seen that many empty swings since Terminator 2.

Speaking of that, when again will the robots take over? I’d like to put together a little welcome basket and have it ready.

He should get at least 2/5 of the credit. Potential lineup to challenge the Warriors:

Despite the popularity of the Richter magnitude, Sabermetric analysts agree that it’s a distraction from more relevant stats, like:

Damage Done =[(Casualties x 8.91) + (Gas fires + Collapsed structures)*1.19] * Presidential tweets / Population who felt it)]

I haven’t seen moves like that since ...

I’m not sure if he trembled, but he definitely blinked. And flinched.

This take is reasonable, based in nuance and backed by facts. How’s New Zealand this time of year?

I prefer boxing coaches. They were matching sweatsuits, a little cap, and a towel on their shoulder. Seems right.

Agreed. If you’re a sports fan and you’re not watching college softball, you are missing out. 

Why is there a broken finger in the logo?

It’d been better if they just made it phallic like everyone else.

And on the eighth day, God declareth that absolutely nobody gives a shit about anyone’s logo except for two people: 1) the logo designer; and 2) the person who decided the logo needed designed and paid the logo designer.

And it was good. 

Followed by, “Feel the burn!”

Point: Guns are dumb.