I thought abortion was responsible for everything?

aw, it's so cute! look at the little troll, everybody! it's so little and cute and trying so very hard.

Yes. Because, in the eyes of the world, we are.

stories!

Nothing physical, but my brand-new father-in-law tried to start an argument with my dad over their respective ages. (My dad's like 8 years older but looks 20 years younger than my FIL, who didn't take it well at all)

every time I see a reference to Tom DeLonge, I end up picturing Tom DeLay....

I had my tubes tied nine months ago, and it was fantastic. The doctor was great—his main concern was to make sure that a) I wasn't being forced into it, and b) that I knew it wasn't really reversible. I was home before noon, and the ACA covered everything. I highly recommend it.

I've always liked the Juniper Tree, but that's probably because I am a terrible person.

I think I'm going to be sick. This is awful.

thank you!

I throw pennies at people who text during movies.

When I was in second or third grade, I learned about blood types—you know, A, O, etc. I asked my mom what would happen if people with different blood types got married and had kids. My mom explained that usually it meant nothing, but sometimes if the woman had negative and the man had positive blood types, it could…

....fair point.

Yeah. It was bad. Pretty sure it was something in the water—they got the drinking water out of the same lake they'd dump the wastewater into. This was also the lake people would drown themselves in.

Tiny town in Southern Minnesota. Toilet bowl of the region. It is absolutely awful. Birth control is for losers and idiots, that sort of thing. I fucking hated it there.

Yep.

Yes. Especially in the town I used to live in, where I was thought of as INCREDIBLY weird for not having had syphilis at least twice. (One girl I knew had had it 4 times in 3 years, and that was regarded as pretty much the norm.)

You know how there are always those people in the comments who defend the idiots and asshole customers? The extreme sensitivity they keep showing, especially when it's just to one specific story, makes me wonder if they're the idiots/assholes being referred to, and therefore (as all true idiots and assholes will),…

At my wedding we had all the single guys gather for the bouquet toss.

lies! She will live forever in glory. Seriously. She's eternal, because there's no way that much awesome could possibly be contained in a mortal vessel.