How much money do I need to give for him to not make his next movie?

You’re funny and your ex is a douche.

And they try to play it off like “Oh, you’re so trivial, and I’m much busier thinking Big Important Things (usually about business). Being funny is God’s work, y’all. How in hell would we go on without it?

He’s backing what he sees as freedom of speech; it’s pretty clear he does not agree with bigotry.

I’ll support a Christian baker, and accept that they are Christian, when they also require of their customers documents proving that the cake is for a first marriage. The baker should also lie detector test their customers for infidelity and other offenses actually covered by the Ten Commandments. Until they do this,…

It’s very refreshing to hear someone of his stature articulating his position so well. I feel the same way as Patrick Stewart, but if I try to make this same argument I am labeled a Homophobe.

I always applaud appetizer-based diplomacy.

“Having a drunken stranger stalk you and show up in his underwear in your apartment is a beautiful thing!” He shouted at me. “Why are you treating it like it’s dirty?”

I think the cancer date guy had some kind of mental issue.

Ah, the old false equivalency argument. Wrong.

The point is the segment was only made because men are supposed to be manly, unlike those pussies who support gay marriage or have vaginas. And these dumbasses didn’t even know to check if a parking brake was on. But something tells me a lot of things pass over your head.

Sadly neither the left or the right has a monopoly on stupidity.

I don’t think any of them have almost crushed themselves under their own cars while jacking it, to be totally fair to the Jalopnik staff.

It looks like this diner got his... *puts on sunglasses* Just desserts...

In Soviet Russia, server hit on you.

Fuck that shit. What the hell is wrong with people who find it acceptable to hit on people while they're at work?

I do everything I can to be kind to any service workers of any kind. The shit they put up with depresses me.

When I asked you and your companion if you'd be eating, or needing anything else from me, you put your hand - ever so gently - ON MY ASS and asked if you could take me "to go".

Harassment and a 13% tip. Brian sounds like a real great guy.