Holy shit Michael Chertoff.

THISISWHYICAMEHERETHISISWHYICAMEHERE!!!! Man, every day I was like “pfff, I can do that,” and every day I chickened out of calling in. :(

She. Made clear in several mentions and by a 10 sec google search for verification, if you need that sort of thing.

I legit squealed to Mrs. Skirata when she yelled that out the first time.

The thieves eluded the cameras, they did not allude to them.

This is some good Kinja right here.

Infringing on their right to be an unapologetic asshole.

“It’s Morphin’ Time!”

I thought he was one of the sane ones? Damn :(

Is Uwe Boll available?

Anteto - this part’s easy, all phonetic up to this point, short vowels, like the Romance languages.

I think you got that twisted. Luke’s the notch here, clearly.

Given the dangers of existing while male and black these days, I’d say the young man has a pretty good case for self-defense here.

See this. This is how you fucking pun, plebes.

This kinda goes without saying. Why is it always being brought up when talk turns to Tesla?

Oh, you glorious human being, you!

Nice work!

Define Liberterianism, because ever “Libertarian” I’ve ever spoken to is only worried about the government being “overbearing” on them personally, to the detriment of everyone else around them.

Can’t throw a 5.56mm casing in Grand Central without hitting an armed National Guardsman. Don’t wanna regulate guns, fine. Post a fucking squad outside every goddamn elementary, middle, and high school in the country. At least this won’t happen again; y’all can let your toddlers shoot you in the back of the head at…