You forgot the part where he was too racist to become a federal judge — IN THE 80's.

Wow, that must be a bummer: you’re a Senator for over 20 years, you hitch your wagon to a guy you think is your best bud and whom you introduce to Washington D.C. when no one else will touch him with a 10-foot pole, you give up your seat in the Senate to become his Attorney General, and in — what? two or three months?…

I’m hoping for AG Jeff Goldblum.

This is very good advice, but I wonder...why are some of us this way? Is it something we’re born with? The result of some traumatic incident in childhood? I’d really like to know.

Oh, they love “real” women, just like they love “real” America, but if you don’t fit their fantasy of what “real” women or America should be, you are literally beneath their consideration.

Listen, they give those infants a gun fresh out of the uterus. After that they have all they need to defend themselves. 

I think those idiots who are women who voted for the GOP would rather like that because “they” are the “good” ones...and everyone else, even their child or sister, is the bad one.

“Texas’s growing pregnancy-related mortality rates disproportionately affect black women, who make up 11 percent of births, but 28 percent of pregnancy-related deaths in Texas.”

Because the GOP does not care about women. If you are a woman and you vote for a GOP candidate, you are supporting a party that would rater see you die than lift a finger to help.

The inverse of this is the horror movie scenario:

I’d be super pissed she’s alive because

As an old millennial, I actually initially pictured a portable phone circa 1994 ;)

Such a neat scenario. I’d calmly pack a small bag and take my dog for a bike ride. This is a normal thing for me, so if I’m being watched, I don’t look spooked, but I have enough packed to keep my dog and I safe for a few days, and a mode of transportation.

A friend of mine brought up a really good point, being that I live a completely domesticated and simple life, and danger is not something that I even have to fathom that often, I might be paralyzed by curiosity, all “wait, seriously? What the fuck is going on here??” and not be able to comprehend what danger I would…

Oh, this changes things. I’m still of the ‘old’ variety and pictured this happening on a landline!

Yeah probably leave the house while yelling about him having disappeared for a week...

You’d be surprised how many people would be like “NO I DEMAND TO KNOW THIS INSTANCE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON”

Leave the house?

5) If I think mutts are the best type of dog (why yes I do!) and why.