[frantically deletes draft for this Saturday]

Tommy's next piece on Deadspin will appear in 2018, when it is incontrovertibly proven that the "Brett Favre dick pic" was actually a photograph of a Rolo.

the only thing for us to do now is to eat shit

Fortunately internet comment sections are famously forgiving. I think you guys are in the clear.

Garber is running a safe, profitable racket whose success rests on a structural acceptance of mediocrity,

You'd think the guy would just be obsessed with obtaining the truth, but I guess not.

Look, if lying about playing sports in school is good enough for Skip Bayless, it's good enough for this guy.

Ronald Roberts sounds like the name of a character that Dave Chappelle would do in white face.

Shots fired!

A friend I trust sent this fat dog to me.

Judging by the closeup Dyson damn near made it to third and a half base on Flaherty.

I wish all internet debates ended this well

It's really fun.

My stated tinder policy is that I will always swipe right on people I know in real life, because that's hilarious. (however as a result i once matched with a friend's ex, who was very polite and was genuinely curious what I was up to)

No need to look away. I'm sure Cubs fans are used to seeing errors by now.

Sounds like not allowing Albanian fans into the stadium was the right call.....

Well, considering Pogba grew up in France it's not surprising that he's a good Catholic.