That does not surprise me. I once stepped on a baby at a bar. The kid was seriously sitting on the nasty ass floor in front of the bathroom. Why would I be looking down? I’m never expecting a baby on the floor at a bar.

I just went to my niece’s first musical theater performance (after a summer at theater camp) and had to not only sit through a show where one kid’s pants fell down, but sit through the awards afterwards - for participation. Everyone got an award certificate like “The Perky and Professional Award” -even the girl who my…

YES!!! When my niece was 4, I was joking that I’ll leave her all my money when I “go”, and asked how much money she thought I had. She thinks for a minute and then says excitedly, “Five dollars???” I reply, “Yes! I probably will have five whole dollars and they’ll all be yours!”

I was going to say, my sister told me she read an article that kids were getting $10-20 a tooth and she almost had a rage stroke over that amount.

Delicious in chocolate milkshakes! But I lost half a bottle yesterday, because I was putting some wine bottles on my liquor table (I’m fancy like that) and I knocked the bottle off the edge - the cap wasn’t fully on.

I tried to get out of a child molestation case once - didn’t work. We convicted him. He was a pastor, too!

My dad took me to see the first Star Trek movie in the theater - I was 5! He lied and told my mom we were seeing a kid’s movie. I was fascinated by Spock and McCoy. They’re still my favorites.

I wish she’d drink more! Maybe she’d calm the hell down about everything.

There’s no climate control at sea!

Like most moms in the 1980s, my mom raised us on Kraft slices. Now she goes to the fancy cheese shop that opened in her town for all her cheese needs.

Did you watch “The Loft”, a movie Karl Urban did that just came out on DVD? If not, it’s about a bunch of guys who cheat on their wives at a loft they own. Enraging - but I am unwavering in my love for Karl Urban. In one scene, Karl is being nice to a fat lady at a bar, because his reasoning is fat ladies often have…

I thought she actually decided she didn’t want to be married to a future king because at the time, she wasn’t comfortable with the publicity it would entail?

Have you tried Japanese Baby Foot? Stupid name, but it works! I can only pumice so much, and the rough, cracked skin always comes back no matter how much cream I use. So now I do a Baby Foot treatment every few months.

Yum! I already get a Mexican hot chocolate mix, but I might try that this winter for some extra zip - Mocafe Azteca d’Oro.

What are those - cinnamon candies?

You’ve clearly never put it in a chocolate milkshake.

My sister used to be a customs agent, and was driving me home from the aiport once after vacation. She asks me to grab her phone out of her purse, which was on the floor behind the front seats. I can’t see anything, so I’m groping around in the purse until I feel something rectangular....and pull up her gun. I…

I’ve never been disappointed by any hotel recommendations from them. I look at guide books and Trip Advisor, and see if both have reviewed them or not, rank by price and ranking, and just look at what people say (and how they’re saying it). If multiple people say the same thing, it’s probably true.

My boss thinks we’re all her best friends, which.....NO. We barely tolerate her. So if any two of us want to go to lunch or do something after work (like see a movie we’re both interested in), we have to make secret plans to do it when she’s on a business trip, because she gets all hurt we didn’t invite her. And if we…

The first time I realized how out of her mind my boss was - I had requested 2 weeks off for a dream Mediterranean vacation. She knew it was coming! I had been talking about this trip for almost a year, and she was always saying how much fun it sounded. I pretty much booked it a year in advance because I was using…