I am 100% convinced that Elizabeth Warren is writing her speeches or advising her now. AND I AM HERE FOR IT

Thank you. Came here to say how particularly repugnant it is for the guy whose corporation is known for devastating local hardware stores to have the chutzpah to complain about it being hard to start a small business these days. And for him to say that he’d never be able to start Home Depot these days? Well no shit,…

I think I would kill someone if that dog asked me to?

“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.” It was time for today’s quote. Unfortunately we get to use this daily - sometimes more than once.

He’s going to win because his mindless drone followers are too drunk with the prospect of America First! to realize how full of shit he is. And they hate the idea of a woman as president almost as much, if not more, than Obama as president.

For those of you keeping score at home:

I was expecting the link between the erosion and climate change to be from a 3rd party assessment. The fact that they explicitly admit it is... impressive hypocrisy.

Concern for dead people is useless to them, isn’t it? Concern for potential future victims makes more sense as a concept.

Unfortunately, Judges are held by sentencing guidelines. They can sentence someone to jail for the least amount of time possible but sometimes they still have to sentence said person to prison. Hopefully, though, this woman gets the mental health treatment that she needs.

I mean, you fuck one goat and they call you a goat fucker.

I hadn’t really seen anything he was in until Selfie. And now my desire for him burns bright and eternal.

But she knew the character, not the woman. Didn’t know her soul or what her favorite emojis are. For all Kristen knew, she turned herself into vapor at the end of filming each day. Where’s the personal connection? She didn’t know know her, you know?

The point is, anti-abortion activists, despite all protests to the contrary, don’t care about the baby, as long as its born. They might in spirit, but not in action. This woman wanted to have an abortion because she didn’t feel prepared to give a child a good life. but then the clinic lasted long enough to tell her…

The right to live doesn’t include the right to use someone else’s body to do so.

I dreamed I was an understudy for the lead in a world-famous ice-skating musical.

Don’t freak out. Vote. And tell your friends to vote. Especially in swing states.

I would take all that in, say, Häagen-Dazs. Not a gross green cup o’lard, though.