Yeah, for $10K, I would be expecting a photographer who could dodge out some of the shadows around my eyes when the lighting wasn’t great and edit out the vein in my forehead.

It’s sad to imagine someone that talented so marginalized—but it’s so, so great—and weirdly vindicating? Because I have stories like this? Minus the talent and fame and the live television?—to hear her talk about it. Like feeling small or unfunny or sidelined by a group of guys that you really like! And admire! It's…

I love reading this stuff. I feel like I'm listening in on state secrets.

She could totally have an everyday vagina and a special occasion vagina. That’s what I’d do.

There is a long list now of states I never intend to visit or spend a dime. Fuck them all.

This is exactly how I felt when they killed Kenny.

Question: why is it that EVERY time I read Tweet Beat, I see a corny/uninteresting/dry ass blurb from Pat Sajak’s terrible self? C’mon man, funk dat!

Karson. This made me lol at work. Thank you.

I thought they had a bunch of malformed Kardashians shackled up in the basement. Or just, like, ones who are normal humans. "Mom, I don’t want to be on a reality show, I want to be an oncologist.” Get in the basement, Karson.

lmao i say it all the time

i mean

“It’s hard for me to watch American Idol because I have perfect pitch.”

I’m a single woman in my late 30’s. I get told, “You don’t try” or “You don’t put yourself out there” all the time, like it’s a moral failing on my part that I’m single. Now, I don’t talk about being single, I don’t act like a sad sack and I don’t troll for sympathy. I don’t GAF that I’m single 99% of the time anyway.…

It’s a gift from the Fringe gods. Handle with love and care.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Bobby Finger is writing for Jezebel now?! I love you on Twitter (especially when you go back and forth with my all-time Gawker Media fav Richard Lawson)! It's nice to see you here!

i know right? After the premiere I thought this really has potential, then it took a dump on my expectations as most things do in life

I can relate to that! I'm like 80/20 as well, and my husband could go either way. He'd be a great dad, but I don't think I'd be a good mom. I'm really, really introverted and high-strung just like my dad, and I could see myself doing the same shit he did (ignoring us, being a control freak, etc.). You would THINK that…

I've been thinking about this, and i think i've come to a terrible terrible conclusion,

I dont want kids. Never did. I would be a horrible neurotic psychopath of a parent.

But what i realised, is when i say i dont want kids, i mean i do not ever, ever wish to birth one. The world is a shitty place and bringing more…

Ha ha, I love this. I have found my people.

What to Expect When You're Expecting. or like...a million other books? lol. Not trying to give you a hard time but that's kinda like asking why there's no white history month, or international men's day :)