"My dream is to become a tattoo artist and a veterinarian"

:enters ring in hoodie:

Some people just have a Sikh sense of humor.

Is "Limitless" a new glass company I've never heard of?

No kidding. These staged reaction meltdowns are lame as fuck.

As real as the match.

Bravo, I love your shop, and it encouraged me to build this to complement yours!

FINE. I'll man-up and do The Wheelbarrow since no one else has yet done so.

Okay, a couple of things:

Poor Keanu... He tries so hard...

"I was the one Ronald.....The One....."

In that moment, perhaps he became aware of just how absurd his own existence is.

Well, if one angry man is going to wreak that much havoc in that short a period of time, I can't think of a more appropriate place for it to occur than downtown Oklahoma City.

This is easily one of the most horrific stories i have ever read... the dude just needed a tow... I bet he was running toward the cops saying, "Thank God... finally some help."

Is this story the definition of irony, or what? He banged on her door because he desperately needed her to call the police. She did exactly that. It ended up being the worst thing that could've possibly happened to him.

Robbers always knock on the door.