I have an irrational amount of hate for his stupid hair. I can't explain it.

Sigh. That every attempt at humor relies on puns is what's most disappointing. I can only hope that my own tragic death will inspire funnier material.

Yes, you're right. My thinking was scrambled there.

I don't think it is like hating movies or plays - it's definitely the medium I don't like. Sometimes I'll even like the content well enough that I'll play a game for an hour or so before remembering why I don't do it more often.

More evidence that I've won some sort of cosmic lottery. My stomach is full, I am properly hydrated, I am healthy, I am safe from machetes and explosions and I just spent thirty seconds watching a tutu wearing rodent dance to Bach. Life is good, friends.

From their blog update: "In this instance, we recognized our error and moved as swiftly as possible to fix it."

Hi. I'm a guy and I just want to take this opportunity to mention my dick and its satisfactory size because, as always, I'm certain that you're interested. Thank you and good night.

It's sarcasm. I can never bear to include a wink. But theological noncognitivism is totally a real thing!

Oh, poor atheists. Always so persecuted for your silly assumption that religious language is at all meaningful and that the concept of God(s) actually contains a thinkable proposition. We theological noncognitivists feel sorry for you, mostly.

"Analytics estimates that every time a new household is started it creates a ripple effect that puts $145,000 into the economy."

I think that the casting of male actors is more often than not decided by their ability to perform consistently. It's all about the bottom line...

It's probably got a lot to do with where I live and the people I'm actually in a position to meet. I do know some very intelligent casual smokers but the ones who hit the bong the hardest and have continued to do so 10+ years into adulthood are pretty far from being the cream of the crop. And by intelligent I really…

I can't work out whether the study means tried drugs or continues to use drugs regularly. I've subjected myself to to a variety of illicit substances during the last 15 years and a variety of dope-fueled persons, and this headline contradicts most if not all of the observational evidence I've gathered during that…

"14 percent of men between the ages of 25 and 34 called mom's house 'home'"

Born and raised in Nova Scotia, I'm a little bit disturbed to learn that I'm inbred. I don't disagree with the general sentiment, though. This is a depressing place. And as an only child, I don't even have a sibling to fuck.

You're not alone. I don't get it either. I'd watch it before, say, Two and a Half Men, but lost interest mid-way through the first season. The sentimentality tacked on to the end of every episode gets me when I'm hungover, though.

Alright, let's keep this light and fun. Why did you agree to this, and what makes you feel qualified to speak on the implied behalf of your entire gender?

As a matter of fact, I do have a savings account! How much is in it, you ask? Did I mention that I love to read?

I'm a little surprised to be 32 and still in roughly the same place I was ten years ago. I imagined I'd be married by now, I suppose. Maybe I'd have some kids. My job is alright, but it is a job. I'm moving again this week and I'm not really sure what the count is - how many places have I lived in? My parents are…

Hm. Unfortunately I can't think of any zingers at the moment. Hopefully I'll be a bit more on my game by the time the next article detailing a horrific assault rolls around.