I saw Insane Masturbatory Rampage open for Slayer in '92.

Well, if you want to get super-pedantic, he went on an insane rampage, was apprehended, and then masturbated, so the rampage itself was not masturbatory at all according to the reports.

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…

"No comment."

Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.

Apparently the ambulance wasn't the only thing leaking fluids, amirite?

Lucky for the kid he's white.

I just assumed at this point that a "metro Detroit watering hole" meant a pothole in the street that collects fresh rainwater that roving gangs fight over to claim the last drinking water in the area.

Some ref you were, Samer. There were like, 22 flags on that play.

Wow, that girl is unbelievable!

I have a pretty similar story to everyone elses. A man I worked with was "friends" with Da Coach. Anyways he told me coach would be at the next game, and since I was going, stop by my friends RV and the coach is going to make a quick appearence. Being 22 years old, I thought that was literally the coolest thing I have…

Houston, we have liftoff

White Flicks

I know his defense is a joke, but you'd think he could at least guard against flakes.

So you really are head and shoulders the worst guy here, Tom.

White Flakes Can Jump

Ridiculous double standard. Jim Leyland jumps up and yells "who's your daddy?!" in public and people think it's cool, meanwhile people blast Jameis Winston for doing the same thing. Of course, Winston yelled that out while he was raping that girl but same principle

I would like to know more if you know more.

he dated my grandma in college

My Grandfather golfed a whole lot in the Chicagoland area. He'd bring my brother and I along. He helped judge tournaments and was welcome at all sorts of clubs. One afternoon, he takes us out and a club tournament is going on. Ditka and his sons are one group. While we ate our late lunches, his group comes up the 18th…