I'll respect you, Mr. Cavill. I'll respect you all night every night. Sigh.

Lee loo Dallas?

Holy shit I just joined team Russell Brand.

Oh god I hate Bruno mars so much.

That was a very vanilla, ahem, list of beautiful men.

Nobody wants to be a Mets fan. You're usually born to it; it's not something you'd ever choose.

You mean you've never heard of Bidet's Academy for Reforming Douches? I hear the grounds are stunning - particularly the fountain feature - but the program is pretty demanding. You start off by learning little things like how to identify and avoid other people's food in communal fridges and finish with Clockwork…

Yo, hamster, Imma let you finish, but Teddy has the best corn-eating video OF ALL TIME.

I don't even understand how people are STILL pissed about that. Or why they were pissed in the first place. Granted, I'm not info fan-fic, but come on! Her current published works are original. Time to move on!

I want to do things with her and James Deen.

I hope they're all labeled properly as "containing nuts."

This is so easy.

Exactly... she looks just like the guy, this isn't about anything else. And as far as being "the only woman" to have gotten mocked during the sketch, how do you think Tan Mom liked being compared to Boehner?

You know people say feminists have no sense of humor and takes things too seriously?

Holy mother of God, SO MUCH NAVEL GAZING. How is she not so fucking bored by herself — and thus desperate to consider others and the active, glorious, teeming world around her— when I am practically catatonic after reading this letter is nothing short of amazing.

Who broke up Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore? THURSTON MOORE. Unless I'm mistaken, he was a willing participant in this and made those decisions that lead to his own breakup. I'm really disappointed that Jezebel would slut shame this woman, who now lives in internet infamy as a home wrecker. ugh ugh ugh.

has Justin Theroux never heard of Polonius? Hiding behind curtains is a great way to get stabbed.

I'm more offended by the fact that people still watch Glee.