@jbownsabmw: Here's to hoping she's in better condition than the car.

@Evil-Jeremy: Who cares? It all would have been spent on Tim Horton's anyway.

A red 1960's MG Midget. This particular car was parked on a steeply angled residential street in Nashville. Every weekend for over a year I would get lunch at the Burger King across the street and look for signs that anyone was making an effort to maintain the little English roadster.

Clearly he was re-enacting Grand Theft Auto.

Please understand that their list has no relevance to us. We were born into a different school of automotive thought than the folks at Car & Driver, and thus our own list is required in order for the true Jalop to have the most fun he can with $25,000.

That's not rust on the Fiat! It's Adaptive Power-Weight Ratio Management!

Aston Martin DB9 coupe and anything from Alfa for a truly beautiful car.

This calls for Rust Bucket Dream Cruise: Frisco.

The location of the footpegs and handlebars, as well as the choice of engine, clearly indicate that this bike is being built by some sort of ape.

Out in my neck of the woods they're all sort of fused into

Dodge Viper.

Krautwagon speaks the truth!

All that hard work...and they forgot the T-Tops. For shame.

@: Actually, my '75 VW bus would get its pants beaten off by a mid-90's sporty car. It will, however, carry 27 Mexicans across all kinds of hospitable terrain. Ask me how I know :)

For those of you who thought the story would go better with a GTR, I've re-written the last part of the story to include Godzilla:

Or better yet attach one to an Alfa that reads, "These Cars Never Run"

I want an identical bumper sticker attached to a DeLorean, with the words "These Cars Never Rust."

Whoops. Just realized the title says "Wes", not Wert.

I want to see him lose half of his hair and start to feel insecure in his masculinity. I want him to turn 40 and decide that owning a Corvette will give him his youth back. I want the smooth-talking salesman at the dealership to use performance statistics Wert doesn't even remotely understand (but has memorized for…

Since when was Obama a bullfighter?