As I read that tweet the sound of a wet fart rang in my ears.

Failing that, bag up the imprint and tell them it’s their lunch...

Your landlord sounds like a nice person to have a beer with.

My landlord also lives in the same area as my house and refers to the HOA as the Hitler Youth. They semi-regularly try to ding me for the driveway stain my 20-year-old, 376k-mile truck leaves (it seeps a bit here and there). Landlord takes this in stride and basically tells them unless they want to pony up for…

Sue HOA for improper snow removal?...

some players who are deceptively fast are also hard hat/lunch pail guys

But I thought “deceptively fast” was the code word for white?

Hm. Could ‘Good Learner” mean white, and ‘Coachable’ mean....not a good learner?

...And the Patriots division includes the Bills, Dolphins and Jets. You take what you’re given.

The car with the aggie sticker will drive to the house in the heights with the aggie flag out front that contains a baby with an aggie onesie with an aggie hot tub in the back yard with aggie koozies floating in it.

If I come up on one of those that covers the entire rear window of a SUV or pickup, I usually just glide over to the right lane and hang out with the geriatric drivers for a while.

Holy fuck! So much this! Also any car with an Aggie sticker.

As a Houston driver I have learned one unalterable truism that governs the universe and it is this: If you see a vehicle with a Texans sticker, watch out, because they are probably about to do something fucking stupid. And the bigger the sticker the stupider the thing theyre about to do.

I always find it amusing that the generation clash is always viewed as being millennials vs baby boomers. Poor old Gen X just gets forgotten, which seems like the most Gen X thing it could really do.

Now they need to update the game Careers to include such respectable jobs as “Playing Video Games Online” and “Reacting To Things Created By Far More Motivated And Talented People While Begging For Money From Those Watching You.”

Considering Monopoly was first created as a tool to show the dangers of income inequality and wealth concentration, there might be no more fitting game for society’s current Gilded Age 2.0 woes than one born out of Gilded Age 1.0.

Or, for those of us in the LOLJETS side of things, to canonize him.

We’re a smaller group. The larger fanbase will stick with an 8-8 team. 

The worst thing that could have happened for the Texans long-term is winning this game and squeaking out overtime wins the two weeks before it. They should be 0-6 on their way to 2-14 with a new coach and a top draft pick next year. But instead, that pesky thing called “hope” is securing O’Brien’s job and stringing…