You’ve just described our new president pretty well too.

Nick Cannon seems like the type of person you could talk into anything, if you made your pitch perfect enough.

I think I already established on Kinja that Nick Cannon is an idiot. But didn’t he have a whole bunch of super hot takes during the election, like, conspiracy level corruption stuff, and he’s a fucking shill for diamonds, one of the most corrupt and exploitative industries in the world?

He’s a fuckin’ joke.

What your friend got was almost certainly not a diamond but a simulant like moissanite. None of those materials are anywhere near as durable as diamond. A true lab-created diamond will last as long as mined one.

So I wasn’t supposed to eat it? IT SAID CHOCOLATE ON THE BOX.

Those used to be saved for industrial use so this is an even bigger scam than the regular diamond one. These are worth what it cost to cut them, period.

P.S. I like brown in many contexts, and I understand that some people may like brown diamonds. My main issue is how they are marketed as “chocolate diamonds” as if “brown” is undesirable and must be sugarcoated (pun intended). Especially because chocolate is opaque, while diamonds are clear. The “brown” is accurate…

A man who has delusions about Planned Parenthood “destroying generations of African Americans” has no problems working with an industry that is actually destroying the lives of Africans - O.K.

My most-hated diamond commercials are the ones for “chocolate diamonds.” They are brown. Your diamonds are brown, they are not that rare, and they are ugly. Other colored diamonds are named by their color: “yellow,” “pink,” “blue,” etc. If you can’t tell the truth and just name your diamond by its color, that is…

I laugh at the diamond industry’s obvious work to call mined diamonds “real” - uh, the human-made diamond is “real” too. Look, there it is, an object composed of matter in the exact configuration that we call “diamond.”

real love “is rare,”

One of Nick Cannon’s stand up comedy specials features a story about the time he lost his virginity to an under-aged girl who had been serially sexual abused by his friends and then passed on to him. I believe the sex took place at a rec center lock in event in a room full of people. So funny!

Honestly just this week they ran a story about a tv host’s visible panty line revealing that she doesn’t wear sexy enough undies while grocery shopping. It’s still pretty darn creepy.

They’re still leering over teenage daughters of celebrities as demonstrated with this particular front page during the recent furore over child migrants

The Mail doesn’t capitalise all the headlines because those are used by the likes of The Sun. The Mail likes to think it is much classier than those papers, but it is just as grotesque and unfamiliar with the truth as anything Murdoch vomits out.

Don’t feel bad we all did.

Not gonna lie. I clicked the penis-knee story.

PEOPLE WONDER WHY I USE ALL CAPS.

How CUM they do that?