@Understater: I know we don't like "girl on girl crime" around these parts but honestly, I am having trouble not saying it.

I am totally confused. It's The Onion. It's made up, like everything on The Onion is.

To me the best story in this whole thing is the dickhead who actually took the picture and sold it. What a douche.

I loathe this woman but I have to admit, that's a great haircut.

I am old now, almost closer to 60 than 30 (holy fucking shit), so I will say that you do have to assess whether you're showing too much skin. Things change and sometimes you don't notice. I covered something once and there was a woman in her 60s showing way too much flesh in a lattice-backed dress and rather than…

Why do I like her so much better than Paris Hilton? She seems sweet and kind-hearted. And she's been with this guy forever, no?

I didn't even know it was tomorrow. I honestly couldn't care less. Is Tom Brady playing? Does he know Giselle is still hung up on Leo?

God, I just burst into tears listening to her sing that song. So much better than anyone else's version (including Celine's —- BLEEEECCCCHHHHHH!)

@samethingwedoeverynightpinky: Oops! Sorry, didn't see this when I posted my comment. She looks fantastic.

Wow, did Etta ever lose weight. When I saw her 20 years ago she was about three times that size.

@OperationSnack: Oh my fucking God. That just made my Saturday night!

@aubonpam: It's so stupid. I think shaving even one or two is stupid — doesn't it make sense to tell people you're older than you are, and then they really think you look awesome? But 18 years! That shit is bananas!

There is the greatest picture in the New York Post today, a candid shot of them nuzzling in a freight elevator on their way to one of the balls, and he's given her his jacket. It is a really telling photo. It's like no one else is in the elevator with them.

Even in jeans you can tell what great gams she has.

@The HZA.: But I really look nothing like her. Same hair colour, that's it.

Some guy came up to me in the street once and said "Hi Julie" and asked if his friend could take a picture of us together. I had no idea what was going on and said: "OK, but why?" And he said: "Because you're Julie Benz." And I was like: "No I'm not, but who is Julie Benz?" And he didn't believe me.

@Calraigh: As a former third wife, I can assure you the multiple-marrying kind are generally total headcases.

@haguenite: I know! It would be cute with buttons or something whimsical. WTF?

Russell Crowe sickens me on so many fronts. Instead of getting rid of Ridley Scott, why don't they just get rid of Russell Crowe and find a better, thinner, more sane actor for the role ... hello Ewan McGregor. Oh yes.

It disturbs me that Craig Ferguson is on his third wife. That is not a good sign. Something's not right there!