Yeah, I don't think the fact that a CEO of a "breastaurant" is a sleazy sexist jerk is a OMG KEYSER SOZE moment for any of use, really. It's that CBS offered said jerk a spot on a highly visible primetime show and tried to pass it off as heartwarming gobbley goo hopefully without anyone noticing how vile this shit…

The real question is: Why the hell would CBS put someone like this on their show?

Okay Jezebel...repeat after me- CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IMAGES! There is no such thing as child pornography. Children have no agency when they are enslaved in this way. Children cannot give consent to their abuse. There is no child porn actor union they can join to protect their workers rights and collective…

I'm what most people would consider a software wizard. I do things with computers (or more precisely, I make computers do things) that most people consider basically magic.

It's amazing how resistant older people can be to new technology, considering how crazy complicated the technology they grew up with was. Old-time switchboards, for example (the kind with all the plugs and cables that had to be connected to the right outlets with every call). Or the early computers with punch-cards.…

PICTURES OF CUTE DOG PLZ I WILL GIVE YOU A COOKIE AND THEN SHE WILL TAKE IT

Last year I bought cheap paper.

My mother is always more interested in the wrapping paper than the actual gift. She will write to friends about how nice it was. "Oh Becky gave me a gift with such nice paper. And so well folded at the corners. It was like something from the Macy's gift wrapping department. Very professional looking. Such a nice bow,…

The poor dog genuinely feels bad. Will she do it again, maybe, maybe not.

but he's also being partially dishonest - because I'm just sure he'd be thrilled with my 50+ yr old ass taking him up on his 'offer'. he's looking for his magic pixie girl - 20-something, cute, skinny (probably blonde), caucasian. No fatties need apply.

My dog sends you virtual love (he's smiling for you, really smiling, he really does do that)

"It's not just a difference in the way that we measure things?" Kooiman replied. "Is it not as safe in that part of the world? Because our viewers may be thinking, 'International travel, is it safe? Is it not safe?'"

I suffer from chronic depression (which is sucky beyond the telling of it, but also doesn't hold a candle to CANCER), and my animals (two bouncy young dogs, one very grumpy old man kitty) are my lifeline—they're quite literally the only thing that gets me out of bed some days. It makes me ill to think about losing one…

I thought this was hilarious. Maybe it's because I'm a parent. But we all know that he got her the real doll she wanted.

I think it very likely that he had the doll she wanted. At least that's how I choose to think it happened.

Possibly more hilarious than this prank are all the toolboxes below who don't see the humor in it.

One of the privileges of parenthood is harmlessly and playfully screwing with your kids. It's a right of passage.

This was brilliant.

This is hilarious. Especially afterwards, when he produces the actual Elsa doll she wanted.

I suspect my mom only bought it because it was one thing all of us kids would never touch, thus ensuring she had it for a snack.

Disclaimer: I understand that the anecdote I'm about to offer up is NOT REMOTELY representative of the general population and does nothing to balance any scales in the grand scheme of things.