Congratulations, Andy.

Hi Jezzies how are you all tonight?

My last day of work was Monday! Few people knew I was retiring, so when I left at the end of the day, I just left. Computer still on, files stacked up, coat on the rack. Just stuffed my Keurig in a grocery bag and walked out. Mic drop. Over. Retired.

Hi, everyone!

“no one older than one year out of high school”

I would have asked him why he was looking so closely at what teenage girls are wearing, that disgusting asshole.

I almost got into a fight over this at the tailors. Some douchebag in front of me was staff at a local boarding school and was going on about how the girls at his school needed to bring in their dresses to be approved becasue you just wouldn’t believe what young girls concinder okay to wear.....He took a breath to…

Ummm...they may not kill any animals specifically for hot dogs buuuuut..... 

I mean, personally it just sounds like Grimes once again revealing herself to be a giant fucking moron.

Gotta make sure girls know that their bodies are shameful and hammer that point in at every possible moment. 🙄

Apparently, it’s harder to have cleavage in high school than to shoot it up.

What an incredibly invasive and creepy thing to ask. Also creepy-the principal claims there were “parents who are proud of the school for taking a stand to ensure prom is an encouraging, wholesome event.” aka parents who were totally fine with their girls being treated like objects that needed monitoring. 

I mean if you have ‘vegan tendencies’ you could try being vegetarian or pescatarian or only eat meat raised to a high welfare standard/wild game. But eating hot dogs is basically the same (???)

Imagine being so afraid of girls’ bodies you have to set up a tactical force of teachers to parse the pictures of dress wearing students, uploading and categorizing them to some database, and then having some sort of station set up at the prom entrance to make sure the girl in question is wearing the agreed upon…

I love hot dogs because they don’t kill cows for hot dogs, so you can eat hot dogs without guilt if you need meat but you still have vegan tendencies

Justin Bieber should not be allowed to own pets.

Both of them are one term only presidents. They’ll be, what 82? at reelection time. They’re choice for VP is of the utmost importance.  They'd better not palin it. 

the one shouty 78 year old man who is sundowning and won’t have any marbles left at the end of his term, or the other shouty 78 year old man who literally had a heart attack on the campaign trail.

I think getting out the youth vote has always been a huge problem. I voted in every election since I could vote, so I don’t understand it much myself. One would think student loan relief and free college would motivate them more. I think social media can give people the illusion of accomplishing something. Its also…

Look, Liz isn’t obligated to do shit for either of these two dunces aside from what we all have to do after the voters fight over these scraps of candidates: To work our asses off to make sure Donald Trump is sent crying and whining home in November.