This is incredible and you are incredible. I might save this for our Christmas dinner in a few weeks, just for maximum impact. "And your gravy tasted like crap." Then I peace out, taking the dessert I made with me. To where Chris Hemsworth is waiting on a motorbike. We ride off into the sunset laughing. With cake.

It doesn't date you as old. I'm 22 and the issues you're describing are exactly why I'm too scared to even get tinder!

It's possible. Someone else suggested it might be nightmares, which makes a lot more sense since I have loudly reacted to nightmares in the past, but I was thrown by the allegedly sexual aspect. It wouldn't surprise me if that was actually what it was, but he was making it sexual to be a douche.

I definitely will. On both counts!

I'll look into that. And you are spot on with "Nothing brings out even the mildest latent douchiness like the "threat" of female sex." I'm pretty pissed that he was clearly joking about it with one of the other roommates BEFORE even mentioning it to me. I mean, WTF. That is not how adults deal with things.

Haha, I love this approach! You're right, he is being a jerk. If he brings it up again I think I'll try something like "If you really want to talk about it, I don't think now is the time. If you're just trying to embarrass me, cut it out."

I'm so so sorry. You deserve better friends than that. I was going to advise you to see a therapist, but you've already organised that. I think you deserve an explanation, although sadly you should be prepared for that explanation to make you really reconsider your friendship with the groom. Again, I'm sorry. Hugs!

Haha, you are awesome. I'll try the second option the first time, then the first suggestion if that doesn't work! It's happened twice in the 3 months we've lived here. I really doubt it's bothering him anywhere near as much as his dinnertime announcements are bothering me!

That's an interesting idea. I haven't been sleeping very well lately, and I can see why he would jump to the most titillating conclusion. Now how do I find out what's going on, if I'm unconscious?

Alas, I've never spent much time there. Maybe google things like 'coffee house poetry readings' and 'open mic nights'? 'Dodgy moustache appreciation society'?

No suggestions, but I did get a good laugh from that - you were right, definitely not where I thought it was going!

In all seriousness, that look is adorable and there are not enough of them in the UK. What are we to do?!

Germany.

Thanks, I know it's immature of him. I think the reason I'm finding it so weird is that it's happening while I'm asleep and I have no memory of it in the morning, so the first I hear of it is him bringing it up at dinner...with the rest of the house (oh, and this time he'd clearly mentioned it to one of them first -…

So, those of you who responded might remember that a few weeks ago I had an embarrassing incident with a housemate overhearing some sexy noises coming from my room while I was asleep. We laughed it off and I'd pretty much forgotten about it, but apparently it happened again last night.

LIKING THINGS AND EXPERIENCING JOY IS NOT SENSIBLE!!!one!

I just googled it. So beautiful! And I don't see why the lack of dates matters, clearly any guy worth marrying will also love Harry Potter, so he'll be into it.

Everyone else stop trying! We have located the coolest couple in the world!

The drink baby passed out in mashed potatoes took this story to another level...Bravo.

Very true. A relative of mine realized that it wasn't working early in his marriage, and he and his wife agreed that he'd try and make it work for another 10 years. Guess what? They got divorced after that 10 years.