So true. Being from the UK, I've accidentally dated 2 Morris dancers...the bells and hankies haunt my nightmares...

WHILE I DOG PORK YOU

I particularly like the order of the list (and, I assume, her priorities?)

I'm only 21 and this made me feel old. I suppose I still think that anyone born a few years after me is 10?

I'd like to chip in with the fact that I am under 24, and I also don't care about BurninatingThaCountrySide's college thesis. So that leaves...no one.

So far I've managed to escape consequences from a detailed conversation about blow jobs at Santa Croce in Florence. Now I'm a bit scared...

Just chipping in to say that I would have been offended too. Even if she felt that was relevant, she could have found a more professional way to ask without invalidating your feelings.

35 is an excellent age. Dude needs to get a grip. And some manners.

That is both horrific and hilarious. You have a way with words, because that mental image had me crying with laughter.

It would be an impressive amount of scheming. Particularly moving an elderly relative into the same building to add plausibility that it's his main residence and aww-factor....Unless the old man is in on it too?

I was relieved when I saw his place because it is clearly not somewhere a woman lives. Unless he is actually married and that is his extra-marital sex pad. But at some point I had to give up on the suspicions.

This is hilarious! Bless you for repeating yourself to satisfy an internet stranger's curiosity.

I think we're going to need more details on the accidental mistress situation. Although that is something I could see myself doing in one of my frequent 'abroad and didn't quite understand so just nod and agree' situations.

That sounds like a great 12 months to me.

"What did I do?"

I think there's middle ground where you can be more tactful, without just not replying. To me, "I had fun, but I don't see it going anywhere" is less crushing than "I don't find you attractive". You know it won't go any further, but it's not such a personal rejection.

While I agree with you that cows are terrifying (they are fucking huge), I'm mostly seeing these two stories as a comparison of mom reflexes and dad reflexes.

My heart just melted. Why am I not you?!

My mum told me recently that she knows she doesn't have to worry about me like she does with my sister. This is despite me finally telling her (months later) about the depression I had last year that I never bothered mentioning to my family because everyone was too worried about my sister having a 'real' illness at…

I was watching one of those boy-meets-girl-they-hate-eachother-then-have-sexy-sex films last night, and I couldn't help but wonder if that ever happens in real life. I mean, I've loved and I've hated, but the romcom cliche of "You're such a wanker" *kiss* seems strangely pervasive, when you think that it NEVER HAPPENS…