Oh for fuck's sake. Just...what is wrong with people?!

Ok, you were already my hero even before you used the phrase 'wet my nethers'. Now I think we have to get married.

I react very strongly when people come up behind me, and I don't even have any trauma in my past to explain it. People think it's a bit crazy, but considering how many bad people there are in the world, I don't think it's that irrational. Good luck with your anxiety - I hope you have the support you need.

This additional detail just takes it to another level. Wow.

I understand these, apart from 3. Ducks are awesome. Unless you brought a shovel, I don't see how they'd suspect murdery intentions.

Like how some people confuse 'censorship' with 'spending 1 goddamn second thinking about how what you say makes others feel'. Not quite as snappy though.

Some people just don't deserve pizza.

A friend of mine dated a guy who was a really picky eater and, although there were obviously other issues, that was a big reason why I just couldn't picture them together in the long term. She would invite him over for dinner and then freak out about what she could possibly feed him. Being very incompatible on such a…

Your mom's novel sounds awesome, by the way.

I only ever post things that are 'huge bummer posts', because that's when you need support. Don't feel bad about it. I'm sorry for you and your husband - I'll cross my fingers for you.

I want to read your memoir.

Brilliant idea! Like all those euphemistic names for vibrators in ye olde magazines.

I mean, I just assumed the lion wanted his friend to know that he's flawless....now I feel like a fool.

THERE'S A STORY?

Don't we all, my friend, don't we all...

I am quite jealous and do not understand why they're mocking you. It sounds like you're doing great.

I never say I want a dog - I need one in my life. Sadly I don't know when I'll next be in one country for more than 2 years, so it just wouldn't be fair with such an uncertain living situation. I might compromise with a guinea pig, though. I know it's not the same, but I need something fluffy to love!

OMG, that smile!

I have to ask, are you stoned right now? Not trying to be rude, I've just never heard anyone think of something like "Do you think he knows he doesn't have hands?" when they aren't stoned.

Just try thinking of crumpets during sex. How could that NOT enhance things?