Nancy is the best! Anyway, back to me (obviously!). I'm wanting to word-vomit my feelings more than I'm looking for advice, but any words of wisdom would be appreciated. Last week I went on a first date and I was a bit disappointed when he didn't kiss me. Tonight was the second date and he did. It was nice, but there…

I went through a break-up last year (nowhere near as long as your relationship, but my first serious 'he's the one' relationship) and I was in a new city, so I definitely get how helpful it is to have this support network.

Wait, are you telling me I can get a mini goat as a pet? DON'T JOKE WITH ME ON THIS.

This is going to be my new promise in relationships: I will love you for all time or until I get bored of you. I feel like it covers pretty much all the options.

For some reason, this is the least surprising thing I've ever heard. I love you for confirming it though.

I mean, I'm a fan of the bucket-hat-baby-at-the-beach photo that jez always seems to use (not complaining, that shit's hilarious), but this...this takes the biscuit.

I enjoy the irony in proclaiming "don't need to shake my arse for you, cause I've got a brain", when the reality is that she is incapable of such arse-shakery and must employ other people to do it.

What the hell? There is already a term, it's 'plus size'! It's right there in the fucking description!

At 21 I've already given up on plans, because I had a Grand Plan until last year, when I woke up one morning and - gasp - changed my mind completely. About everything. It is reassuring to know that sometimes you find yourself unexpectedly on track. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Yep, I've always said that if my dad is asked for his permission/blessing/whatever, I'm saying no.

Excuse me while I painstakingly craft you a medal.

Haha, I have exactly the same opinion on bras - I am just not comfortable with the idea of random people seeing my nipples. I didn't realise that made me a bad feminist. We should start a Self-loathing Sexist Nipple-hater's Club.

This story is adorable! I hope my future kids are as cool and enthusiastic as you were.

I feel like it's less sex advice, and more general life advice.

Omg, you are the best! What a cutie pie! My day just got significantly better, so thanks.

"Scootsie Bootsie"! The feels! If you wanted to post a picture so I had a face to put to that adorable name, I'd be ok with that.

Haha, cheers! Although if I remember correctly, Cher's record at setting people up was about 50:50...

Is your friend single?

I should not have read this before a first date. The Italian has a lot to live up to.

This is truly hilarious. What do I have to do to become a pez dispenser?