No disrespect intended to Albert Pujols, but I wonder if the Angels would be better off letting Ohtani DH for himself and letting Pujols rest on Sundays, as God intended.

This is the best Deadspin post ever, and I say that as a long-time Deadspin fanboy.

I have a plan I’ve dubbed “The Procedure”.

It’s incredibly disappointing to see a team with so much potential come up short year-after-year for two years.

If you have all the draft picks, the other teams will eventually grow old and die. You have to think long-term, sheeple.

put it straight into my veins

I loved both 3 and Revenge (Xbox 360 version). They were freaking fantastic. I completely agree that Paradise was the worst game in the series. Frankly, I think it’s crap. The open world format completely ruined the game.

I’m just so confused why they decided to remaster and rerelease what is universally considered the worst Burnout game instead of Burnout 3: Takedown, the unanimous choice for BEST Burnout game, and one much more in need of an HD remaster. Hell, get Burnout and Burnout 2 in there, too!

Not my Burnout. #RemasterBurnouttakedown

He coulda just walked out as Vader, then takes the helmet off and smiles. That woulda really pissed Kylo off.

The game seems insistent that the only exotic I need since the expansion is Aeon Soul gloves. I’ve gotten 4 pairs of those beyond the one you get from just doing normal storyline and so on. I fear what I’d see if I started using a working 3oC.

Meh. It was boring. It was badly plotted. It ended with a Coke commercial, for all intents and purposes.

This movie had moments that ruled, but overall it was a tonal and storytelling mess. It seems like all Disney movies (Avengers/Marvel mostly) have this bizarre humor where jokes are told with no set up at all and are solely one liner responses to a normal sentence; unearned “humor” drives me up the wall but I guess…

This movie did not “rule” to me. Once the credits started rolling, I just sat there immediately pondering if I truly liked what was presented to me. Yes, there was much in the movie to like, but plenty to dislike. It might work well as a Star Wars film once its has its sequel to tie things together with, but on its…

Why is there no time for exposition and pacing in these movies? They’re long as shit. Now, we have characters shouting their abridged life story over explosions while in a full sprint.

Uhh...maybe don’t mention “home planet” to Leia.

Had a slight Kinja malfunction. But, uh, everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now. Thank you. How are you?

Roy Moore was reportedly thrilled that Alabama wound up in the slot of something born in 2014.

“I’m going to hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!”