Those videos are 100% the best, but too short! I demand more Quinn on ice!

I can't stop watching this dog. I don't know why, but it just makes me giggle so much.

Now that's how you apologize for being an idiot.

My ring is made out of organically-grown, free-range lentils and the artisans who made it actually paid me to take it off their hands.

Or you could tell her that it is where you keep your gun locked up and that guns are for killing and you own that gun for shooting people dead. And that dead people are dead forever. Then you could teach her some actual gun safety in case she ever stumbles across your firearm.

Just riffing here.

I am 100% against the death penalty in any and all cases. That said, the idea that beheading is "barbaric" is just western racism.

LOLLLL. Asking a friend's parents to drive you somewhere is TOTES THE SAME as asking a friend's parent to take you to prom and then blasting pictures of her in a bikini on Twitter to see if you could really get her to do it.

She had her back done.

Diddy did it first:

I wanna join to see just how fast I get rejected.

For all the pedants complaining about the spelling of everyone's favorite cold weather beverage, has it ever occurred to you that maybe "hot coco" is a reference to Ice-T's wife? She's a whole lotta woman and four mugs isn't nearly enough to contain her.

She likes tacky cups, he can't spell cocoa. HOW COULD THESE TWO KIDS NOT MAKE IT WORK.

To be fair, that is some stupid looking shit.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Bravo! People see me drinking my smoothies and juices and are all like, "are you on a cleaaaaaaaanse????" And im always like, "no, sucker, im drinking vegetables bc I hate chewing them. I like a liquid delivery system and I chew nothing but Nutella crepes."

I do pro-choice clinic escorting in the Midwest. I was struck by how much less hostile the British protestors are.

Right? He's sort of snickering and yet end ups moving away, folding in on himself — all the body language of someone who's just been righteously whapped on the nose with a newspaper.

I already know I'm going to have a hard time with this if I end up having to socialize with parents who have stupid beliefs. I'm not shy about telling people that their beliefs are absurd if they're verifiable as untrue. Like, someone in line at Costco was telling me I was stupid for getting the flu vaccine, and my…

Cry-it-outers are the worst neighbors, that's for sure. I don't believe in it myself.

I have learned so many bad things about myself when I first heard the story — because, even though I believe every female rape survivor who comes forward with her story, I still felt incredulous at LaBoeuf's. I fucking hate how primed I am to think about men who are sexually assaulted. It's not fair to them, and it's…