You're right, it's worse than I ever feared.

Personally, I'm willing to settle for Self-Absorbed Hollywood Asshat.

I'd hit that. (If I was driving that bus)

Yes, the cold, dead eyes of the cigarette ads are still better than this.

Florida has, sadly, been sawed off, and is adrift due to the actions of a large gray rabbit with a Bronxy-Brooklyny accent.

Oh, wow, this is so great! I'm glad I'm getting that pin because I still look super white at the moment.

Wait wait wait. Back the train up. Do other people NOT like cheese? I don't know how to take this knowledge. My love of cheese is so strong I might be upset on its behalf.

At least she didn't go to Chik-Fil-A?

.... a former 17 year old stripper?

Parallel/tangential question (go away, geometry nerds): what about the reverse? If a man honest to god thinks he's screwing a minor, but she's not, is that illegal?

"We like our Nazis in uniform. That way we can spot 'em just like that. We're gonna give you a little something you can't take off."

Looking at it, I'd say he should have kept the Boshevik-Jews on staff, because he's a pretty crappy jeweler.

Cool, so with my adult-acne laden face which I barely cover with makeup because I'm lazy as fuck, and my natural hairstyle—gray hairs, half-assedly blowdried, I should be able to land a shitty retail job at Abercrombie! Oh no, I can't, I'm fat. Damn, guess I'll have to stick to making more than $8.00 an hour and not…

In not-so-ancient Europe:

The first son inherited the family wealth.
The second son joined the military.
The third son joined the priesthood.

Well played nature. Well played.

Because a persons looks have nothing to do with an abusive power dynamic.

FUCK YOU. These companies make record profits and huge amounts for their shareholders (look at Chipotle's share price sometime if you want a nice shock) and can't afford to pay their front line workers a living wage?

psst

Approves.

"EW"

I have started doing this and it is so much fun! People expect you to ramble on and on and when you don't, when you make a definitive statement and then just let the silence creep in it is AWESOME. It takes some training though, and the ability to be ok with silence.