Here in Central Texas it has been too hot to make chili, but a cool front is moving in and it’s supposed to be in the 60s parts of next week. Aw yeah! 

I really miss the bacon-wrapped Sonoran dogs guys would cook on trash can grills outside Dodger Stadium or the Staples Center.

Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you – and they will.

And no one made a “let them eat cake” joke. 

I think I would have at least asked the Internet company to buy me a new tv. Surely seems in their best interest. 

A physics TA took a bunch of us out my freshman year of college and did a nifty bar trick. You need a place with vinyl tablecloths. Then you get an iced drink in a rocks glass so that it leaves a water ring on the tablecloth. Then you order a shot of sambuca, light it on fire, place it in the center of the ring, then…

Same. First thought was totally, Jerry? Is he the guy who played Gary?

I mean you wrote the article, but sure. 

“Eric Trump is ... the president’s second-favorite child.” [citation needed]

Counterpoint - a lap full of sesame seeds. 

Word. I’ve sailed past the “quarantine fifteen“ to the “I can’t believe we’re still alive twenty five”. 

Unfortunately the market has always been BROs up, HOs down. 

In which one must assume the last line is “Bustin’ makes me feel good!”.

I still occasionally get forwarded email from an old email account of mine boltvanderhuge@[obsoleteemail].com.

I went to Neal Starbird to get his help increasing strength on my left side. He was unsuccessful.

And if you add molasses and vinegar to the Heinz cocktail sauce it makes a wonderfully tangy, quick and easy sauce for bbq chicken. 

Where the heck are you getting fresh horseradish? My grandfather used to pickle his own and when he did his kitchen violated the Geneva convention. But he passed away before I was old enough to appreciate horseradish, so the recipe wasn’t passed down. 

Here’s how I judge how much horseradish to add - keep going until I pass out, and then when I come to add another tablespoon or so. 

Will I be able to follow it if I haven’t yet seen 62, 63, and 64? 

I consult the ocean about all my major decisions. I call it my pelagic eightball.