I actually had to explain that joke to my mom. 

My friend and I worked on a movie one summer in college. He was driving 1978 Ford Granada nicknamed “The Beast” in a color one could only describe as poop brown that he’d inherited from his dad. The movie had a stunt for which they used a 1978 Ford LTD. After they’d stripped out the seats to put in a roll cage they…

I at least expected a recipe for some wet ass macaroni. 

“Like people’s checkbooks (ask your grandparents), computers tended to assume that every year started with “19”...”

Is this one of those gags where we have to guess which one of these characters you made up?

But if you make it a limerick, what’s the third rhyme in China/vagina/...?

I have only one thing to say to anyone who would dare vote against Jackie Daytona:

At the expense of being “that guy” , whenever our fresh fruit is about to slip its mortal coil I cut it up and put it in ice cube trays for this exact reason.

And like that I just imagined a chicharones and jalapeño pie with a queso asadero, colby jack cheese blend.

They say many of the issues of the 1970s were the result of a national lack of confidence. “This could be the automotive future[?]” in advertising copy, wow. 

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present chicken fajita fiesta potato nachos supreme:

I made this last night. I didn’t have any powdered bouillon so I fried the potatoes in bacon grease instead of oil. I was occupied with making the fajitas I ate with the potatoes so they were a little overdone, but still quite tasty. I made enough for two batches so I’ll be making them again tonight.

“CEO Wyman Roberts revealed that Brinker had been batting around ideas for a number of virtual restaurants, with the first being “sort of a Mexican’ concept...”

In Scranton PA I was born and raised

Or when he’s watching his stories with a glass of wine. 

Unfortunately I can only get the waterfall to appear when I take Cialis. And then after I wash my face I go to the backyard to bathe in my cliff-facing side-by-side bathtubs.

A guy who worked in the same building as me claimed to be a vampire, then tried to prove it by showing me a Victorian-era painting of him that he had saved on his phone. He cycled past a modern-day selfie to show me the painting and I was like Aha! But he was very clever (or actually a vampire) and said the stricture…

But the Trump campaign has painted itself into a corner spending all summer fomenting violence, trying to proclaim themselves the party of Law & Order, and that if elected Biden would eliminate the police and open all the prison doors. Hard to now tack to “Biden / Harris is the party of cops!” 

I was stunned to see Nancy Marchand (Livia Soprano) as the Katherine Graham analog!

My favorite part of this, other than the Herculean effort it took to complete what seemed like an impossible task, is that all of your wrenching and the comings and goings of the tow trucks, etc., had to have been more annoying to your awful neighbor than the collection of cars ever was.