Cran, cran is magically tart

I say it as a joke, but of course it’s dumb enough to actually happen.

The favorite non-fruit pie in our family was graham cracker pie. I never knew why it was called that - are there any other pies named for their crust, not their filling? - when really it was just a vanilla pudding pie.

“But every once in a while, one has need of a casserole.

Going to name my new brand of spice blends M — Dash. 

Kept waiting for the “but”. Excited there wasn’t one!

K really annoys my wife, so I programmed my phone to autocorrect “kk” to “That is a really great idea, and I appreciate you having suggested it.” 

Since this series seems to be adding another loop to the Western/Samurai/Star Wars influence cycle, let’s name the tyke Yojimbo. 

A Japanese client recently brought me back candy from Japan as a very thoughtful gift. There was a pack of cantaloupe chews that I limited myself to one a week of because they were so amazing. 

“Googling “best Nips flavors,” rather than turning up fan rankings, turns up a page on Nestle’s own website. How embarrassing.”

I was disappointed when I googled to learn more about when she went to visit an ailing Duke of Windsor to find that whereas in the show Elizabeth wore a weird floppy hat, in real life she was sporting a perfect teacher-from-Madeline 1950s-UFO hat look.

It would have been nice if Sondland had the self-awareness and/or humility to have said, “Of course I know what fucking quid pro quo is. I paid a million dollars of quo to an illegal inauguration scam pro to get my ambassadorship quo.”

“Wetness leads to fussing. Fussing leads to tantrums. Tantrums lead to suffering.”

Exactly. Calamari should never be squishy. 

I hope you take this seriously - fuck the Yankees. 

You got so excited crafting Wilbur Ross’ epithet that you omitted his name. 

Ohio has has a Mylan Milan also, and a Lima (pronounced “Lie-ma”, Gallipolis (pronounced Gala-police”, Cadiz (pronounced “Cad-izz”) and several more I know I’m forgetting.

Update: Stay on the roof, Lanham!

Much to my mother’s consternation, my sister was notorious for getting obsessed with a certain food then eating nothing but that for months, especially if it involved some new kitchen gadget. God only knows how many batches of monkey bread she made in the microwave. Certainly enough that even reading the name makes me…