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“...Then I could loll around in bed, jack off, go grab a bagel, and burn the clock until sports came on TV.”

If VAR stops shots short,

“...almost as if they took a lunch break from clay modeling...”

Sure, 125 miles on a charge. But how far will it go if you rub it on the carpet?

Such a shame that Harry Caray didn’t live to see the sporting event he trained his whole life for. 

When a pitch is in the zone you must be bolder

“Kd is straight class. Only fair Warriors should return the favor”

Hey, the pharaohs were known to put hieroglyphics of the favorite prostitutes in their tombs, too.

Going in my breakfast tacos tomorrow, thank you!

You’re actually on the right path.

I’ll give you something to make me cry about!

De Oranje? Nee, het Geel!

I’m curious how MLB approached setting this up that they were able to get the Red Sox and Yankees to travel when if it were the NFL England would’ve gotten to see the Marlins vs the Mariners.

Negroni lollipop sure, but it’s 115 degrees outside. Where’s the Negroni popsicle?

He’s not all that bad. If you offer to make him a high ball while he watches the football game he’ll tell you about how he still has that piece of shrapnel in his leg from the Korean War, and that’s a good story. 

I like chocolate chip cookie dough okay, certainly more than the cookies, which are not my favorite. But when I was growing up every year for Christmas my dad would make refrigerator cookies, so called because they get rolled into wax paper and rest overnight in the fridge before baking. My dad always made a double…

It’s so irresponsible for Kietzman to insinuate that Andy Reid is in any way responsible for the death of his son. Reid can’t even kill a clock. 

I have a big-brothery fondness for Lauren that makes me want to stomp every mouth-breather that shambles into the comments of any article she writes. That any one of these cowards should demonstrate 1/1000th of the courage she possesses. 

And that’s what it’s all about!