...No. If Philip Roth was allowed to write the same fucking story over and over, about boring, ruthless men on navel-gazing quests for sexual fulfillment — and win prizes for it — and be called one of the greatest writers of his generation — I think we as a culture can afford Beyoncé space to take what is personal to h…

for old times’ sake

I expect you’ll be sending out a newsletter using Mail Kimp?

Also, on July 12th be sure to pick up my tell all Bears: A Serial Listener Who Remembers, Like, a good 60% of what happened but only about 25% of the Names Involved but still makes “There’s a Shrimp Sale at the Crab Crib” Jokes.

MY MAID OF HONOR WAS A LENTIL!

I’ve got one - “Well, I know a Person A and B that had a $5 lentil wedding and now they’re TOGETHER FOREVER and THE KING AND QUEEN OF LOVE and I know a Person C and D who spent MONEY ON THEIR WEDDING and now they’re DIVORCED and live in HELL.”

I don’t think it’s a desire for payback, per se. Just, if you’re one of the last ones to get married and the novelty has worn off for those in your social circle, you do get the proverbial short end of the stick. People should be just as excited for YOU as they were for the first friend in the circle to get married.…

Getting to payback from their comment is a huge stretch.

Ladies and gents: I’ve been here at Jezebel for a loooooooong time now and I would like to welcome you all to Jezebel Wedding Bingo. Here are some of your squares

-City hall
-Simple dinner with friends
-Marriage is pointless and sexist
-Engagement rings are sexist
-Wedding dresses are sexist
-Choosing to take your husband’s…

I’m getting married at the end of the summer and this person sounds bitter as fuck. There will be no bridesmaids/groomsmen, no bachelorette, no gauntlet of bullshit events for our wedding. Weddings don’t have to be stressful nightmares. It’s pretty laughable that someone that got married straight out of college now…

Right?! Like, “I celebrated my love in this super ahead of it’s time OG hipster way and now anyone that tries to do that is posing and anyone that doesn’t try to do that is a Scrooge McDuck evil rich person who doesn’t truly understand love”.

Your problem is that you have too many friends. I don’t know 26 people well enough to be invited to their weddings. It’s cheaper that way.

I’m currently planning my wedding, and as the last of my friends to get married (I’ve been a VERY good sport time and time again as I have spent thousands on bachelorette parties, showers, weddings, gifts, etc) c’mon now...let me have my time to enjoy and celebrate! No need to hate on other people’s happiness! Sheesh.

You sound both pretentious and bitter.

One of these days, some person will say some insensitive shit about race, and won’t include the hypothetical green and/or purple people in their sorry-not-sorry, or just not-sorry in this case, response and I’ll think to myself, “Progress!”

NEVER FORGET

“Wanna play cat and mouse?”

NPR’s “All Things Considered” had a lovely segment yesterday about Cleary that featured an 11 year old girl who, on being told that Cleary was 83 when the girl’s favorite book was written, went into a wonderful hybrid of disbelief and delight. “How ... how .. how could she have written a book when she was so old that…

I’m so excited for my daughter to read Beverly Cleary and Roald Dahl and Judy Blume and and and (she’s turning 3 in May, is that too soon to start??).