Back on Tinder for the first time in about a year because girl want to go out and have fun and maybe smush. I’ve had it for less than 24 hours and have been propositioned by a dude to use a strap-on on him. My face right now is very non-plussed.

I may be a fat white guy with no real fashion sense but even I know these shoes are violently tacky.

OMG HOW DARE SHE?

But did your search turn up anything regarding the threesome she and her husband had with the Larry O’Brien Trophy?

Did you miss this paragraph?

Thank you!! I’m just basking in being happy and trying to live it up, and my friend’s reaction was such a wet blanket. It’s not like I brought the younger guy over said “we’re moving into together” or something crazy like that. I agree, all I said was “I met someone, we have a LOT in common and I’m really stoked!” I…

It’s actually an iPad app called Green Screen by Do Ink. Super easy to use! The 7-year-olds I work with got the hang of it pretty quick.

I remember you! Glad you’re still having fun!

Having trouble with his baby mama and wanted to test the waters with you/remind himself ~what could have been~ but you were too happy to play along! Is my theory anyway

Hey fellow Jezzies! I have a quick update about my Bumble misadventures, and also need to vent about something.

I will not rage quit my job.
I will not rage quit my job.
I will not rage quit my job.

What I think every time Carbi B wants us to look at her bad chop jobs:

I worked at a place where the manager would keep an eye out in case I went into the walk in freezer to get something and then would come in after me and not let me out until I “hugged” him. (To feel my breasts of course.) Stupid, naive 19 year old me would do it. I had anxiety every day on that job.

“He decided as a child that he wanted to be wealthy after watching the post-apocalyptic movie Soylent Green, where the sole rich character dines on steak instead of liquified people. “I decided then and there I wanted to be the person who ate steak,” he said.”

I don’t often say this about a politician, but the more I learn about her, the more I like Ocasio-Cortez. Seriously.

I’m just so sick of these guys whining about how “attractive” people get more positive attention. No shit. Welcome to the world. That’s shouldn’t be a revelation to anyone. What baffles me is their inability to see attractiveness as a package deal. Yeah, good looks are going to get you more swipes on Tinder or…

Imagine thinking that many thousands of dollars of dangerous, invasive surgery, halfway across the globe was a better, easier idea than some marginal self-improvement in terms of hygiene and standard of living. If that doesn’t speak to some serious mental illness I truly don’t know what does.

The whole article is worth a read, but here’s my favorite/dear lord help us all moment. After going on and on about how his appearance is keeping him from attracting the women he so deserves, Truth4Lies then drops this little nugget on us:

I mean it’s a giant male circlejerk where they think what ever other dudes throw at them, that means that those guys are totally right and that all women will lurve them for their giant ballsacks.